Disturbing

Have you ever gone to what was supposed to be a scary movie and ended up seeing more of the boom mic than scary scenes? Yea, that was pretty much Disturbia in a nutshell.

Last Saturday night we decided to make good on some movie passes we've been sitting on for awhile. Since they were to expire on Monday, we thought we'd use 'em up good when Vanessa got in for a nice come down night before she had to leave. The pickin's were few but we finally decided on Disturbia. Long story short, guy acts out after the death of his father, ends up under house arrest, become suspicious of shady neighbor and it's up to you to decide whether or not he's right or just delusional from cabin fever. It had been the #1 movie for the past two weeks so we figured all of those people couldn't be wrong.

Turns out we were the ones that were wrong. This was not a scary movie. It was slightly suspenseful for about twenty minutes towards the end but that was pretty much it. Up until that point is was more like a teen romance/comedy.

Unfortunately, we did not pay to see a teen romance/comedy, but if we did, we would have been very entertained by Aaron Yoo, the guy who plays the main character's bumbling best friend, Ronnie who was hilariously obsessed with hijinx and T&A. He stole the show in every scene he was in and played a great character for the amount of screen time he got, which wasn't enough. Impressive also was lead Shia LeBouf who I had never heard of before but know now that he is way too good of an actor for this kind of shit. This guy needs to star opposite Meryle Streep, not Trinity from The Matrix.

Good casting aside, the film was just plain boring, and as if you didn't need another reason to believe that not a significant amount of effort went into it's production, there were multiple scenes in which you can blatantly see the boom mic hanging over the actors heads! Did they even screen this shit?! Probably not. If they did they would have been told that it was a steaming pile of disturbing crap and not disturbing in the way they intended. The drunk guys in front of us weren't even entertained by it.

Do not be fooled by the fact that this film has been #1 for three weeks. All you need to do is look at what it was up against. The Invisible? Next? The Condemned?! Disturbia is like the one-legged guy running a race against five paraplegics. It will take him awhile, but he's bound to come in first. I say bring on the summer blockbusters already. Two Gigli heads!

*Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

Hit it...

Keyboard waffles!

The 7 most X-treme products of all time.

20 most amazing coincidences.

This is hilarious.... and kinda sad. [PIC]

In case you have yet to see the video of The Hoof drunk and eating a burger... [VIDEO]