Ryters Stryke

I can't take it anymore! This god damned writer's strike has gone on forever! It's left me with nothing but endless nights of re-runs, an empty void in my heart where awards season used to be and....... TONS OF FREE TIME! That's right. I'm blogging again!

Ok, so if you don't know by now, actor Heath Ledger is dead at the tender age of 28. A little sad. Especially since I credit myself with "discovering" Ledger back in 2007 when he played a character on a basically unknown Fox series called Roar, which was canned in its first year in favor of Ally MacBeal. (Mine and Calista Flockheart's relationship hasn't been the same since, but it's mostly because I like cheeseburgers and she, clearly, doesn't.) As soon as I was informed of his death I went online to get some deets from some credible news sources. Not hard to find, natch. So I read through this one piece from what I believe was the New York Times. (I may be wrong. Don't sue.)

The final line of the story went something to the tune of "Mr. Ledger's publicist could not be reached for comment." ......... seriously. They tried to reach his publicist. Um, ok.

In light of this ludacris excuse for journalism, I've decided to come up with a list of possible things Heath Ledger's publicist MIGHT have said, if he had only been reached for comment:

"Um, yup. He sure is dead."

"Can I call you back after I've consulted with Heath for comment......... ohhhh waaaaait."

"I don't have any details to share right now but if you call back in about 30 years I'll have the whole story for you."

"I guess I can throw this invoice out."

"Hold on a second. I have Anna Nicole on the other line and she is PISSED about how her post-mortem media coverage is going."

"No comment............ last laugh Oh!!!!!!!!"

You know, sometimes I just have to get something off my chest and it seems a blog is the only way to do it. If I had been telling this to someone in real life I probably would have lost them by "awards season." At least some of you have stayed to read the last line, but MY publicist is vacationing in the Caymen Islands so instead I'll have to leave you with...

Hit it...

Oscar noms are out. I was snubbed again this year.

5 things Hollywood thinks computers can do.

These guys take their beer pong pretty seriously. [VID]

Speaking of beer, King's College gets Farked! for obvious reasons.

The WTF?! Truck is pulling in and this time it's carrying the stupid mascots of the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Winter Games.