.....tHe sNoWy bLoG.....

Ozzy!!

2008-01-27T15:35:00.001-04:00

Ozzy recap!! Ok, so me and some peeps went to see Ozzy Osbourne last night on his Black Rain tour. Bottom line, worth every penny. Awesome song selection, sweet pyrotechnics and we had great seats, even though they weren't floor. For a show like that though, sometimes it's best not to have floor, especially anywhere close to the stage. You get too close and you run the risk of:

Getting spit on by Zakk Wylde

Getting a face full of Ozzy's foam blizzard.

Getting your head impaled by one of Mike Bordin's drum sticks

Getting the boobs of the skanky girl next you in your face as she's trying desperately to get on the big screen.

...... ok, well for most guys that sounds like a floor worthy event, but I was quite happy in lower bowl row C.

One thing I had to comment on was the fact that even though we're living in 2008 and Ozzy is likely a fortnight away from the geriatrics ward, there are still staunch Christian radicals picketing his shows. We ran into two last night who yelled at us as we were getting ready to stand in line to get in. I think they told us we were going to die or something and we responded saying that was the reason we got the tickets in the first place. Natch.

And they weren't the only members of the eclectic mix of people we ran into at the show. I must say, I was very surprise at the mix of Halifax Ozzy fans. We saw them all: Bikers, jocks, emo kids, whores, nerds. They were all there and none dominated another, although I'm sured one would if you threw them all into an octagon and offered an Ozzy-signed T-shirt as a prize.

One of the highlights though was when Ozzy did a new album ballad called "Here For You" and brought Sharon out on stage to sing it to her. Totally awesome. The next biggest highlight was Ozzy mooning the works of us. Yea!

So that was our night in a nutshell. My cousin who had seen the show previously in Toronto said the Halifax show might have even been better so that's pretty sweet. Adding that all to the fact that I finally beat Cohen in a game of Outburst Remix and enjoyed three heavenly bites of the most delicious sandwich in the world just made the whole night spectacular.

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Some pretty hilarious condom ads [PICS]

Painful sports bloopers [PICS]

Meet The Spartans was #1 at the box office this weekend...... huh?!

The 12 most-awesomely ridiculous eBay auctions.

The WTF?! Truck just pulled in and it's carrying the New Kids on the Block reunion tour.

Celebrity Death: Good For What Ails Ya

2008-01-23T21:13:00.000-04:00

So apparently celebrity death, regardless of the celebrity, is hilarious. I personally enjoyed Heath Ledger as did many people, I'm sure. But that hasn't stopped jokes regarding his recent passing to spread like wildfire across the net. I was even made aware of some fresh ones last night courtesy of the younger sis and future bro-in-law. You know, the kind where you're pursing your lips together trying not to bust because you know laughing proves exactly what you have been trying to hide all these years: that you're inherently evil.

Anyways, I laughed. Damn me to hell, I laughed like a hyena! So, since it's obvious that I am no longer in the running for Compassionate Person of the Year, I thought I'd post a few doozies that I heard last night and that I've found on various web sites. Hate mail can be sent to:

heath_ledgers_death_is_not_a_joker@lol.com

What's the difference between Jack Nicholson's performance as The Joker and Heath Ledger's? Nicholson's has a chance for a sequel.

Accountants around the world today are in a state of panic. It appears that they lost a Ledger.

It has been reported that Heath Ledger took a fall off the Empire State Building and died of a Brokeback.

How can Batman defeat the Joker? With a handfull of sleeping pills.

His latest role was “I’m Not There”. Guess that applies to all his future film releases too.

I couldn't sleep last night. Heath Ledger stole all my pills.

Looks like he finally found a way to quit Jack Twist.

For sale: One spare ticket to the Batman premiere.

I would imagine that half of you are crying laughing right now and the other half are in shock over my apparent tastelessness. For that half I would like to remind you of this time a year ago when Steve Erwin died and the cackles you had at those zingers. Oh, you KNOW you did!

Anyways, hopefully some class will make its way back here tomorrow, but I doubt it.

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Now THIS is what I call ironic.

Bigfoot's been hiding out on Mars y'all.

Albino animals are rad. [PICS]

The 5 most ill-conceived action figures.

What's almost as awesome as playing Super Mario Bros. 2? Drumming the f*** out of it! [VID]

Ryters Stryke

2008-01-22T18:14:00.001-04:00

I can't take it anymore! This god damned writer's strike has gone on forever! It's left me with nothing but endless nights of re-runs, an empty void in my heart where awards season used to be and....... TONS OF FREE TIME! That's right. I'm blogging again!

Ok, so if you don't know by now, actor Heath Ledger is dead at the tender age of 28. A little sad. Especially since I credit myself with "discovering" Ledger back in 2007 when he played a character on a basically unknown Fox series called Roar, which was canned in its first year in favor of Ally MacBeal. (Mine and Calista Flockheart's relationship hasn't been the same since, but it's mostly because I like cheeseburgers and she, clearly, doesn't.) As soon as I was informed of his death I went online to get some deets from some credible news sources. Not hard to find, natch. So I read through this one piece from what I believe was the New York Times. (I may be wrong. Don't sue.)

The final line of the story went something to the tune of "Mr. Ledger's publicist could not be reached for comment." ......... seriously. They tried to reach his publicist. Um, ok.

In light of this ludacris excuse for journalism, I've decided to come up with a list of possible things Heath Ledger's publicist MIGHT have said, if he had only been reached for comment:

"Um, yup. He sure is dead."

"Can I call you back after I've consulted with Heath for comment......... ohhhh waaaaait."

"I don't have any details to share right now but if you call back in about 30 years I'll have the whole story for you."

"I guess I can throw this invoice out."

"Hold on a second. I have Anna Nicole on the other line and she is PISSED about how her post-mortem media coverage is going."

"No comment............ last laugh Oh!!!!!!!!"

You know, sometimes I just have to get something off my chest and it seems a blog is the only way to do it. If I had been telling this to someone in real life I probably would have lost them by "awards season." At least some of you have stayed to read the last line, but MY publicist is vacationing in the Caymen Islands so instead I'll have to leave you with...

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Oscar noms are out. I was snubbed again this year.

5 things Hollywood thinks computers can do.

These guys take their beer pong pretty seriously. [VID]

Speaking of beer, King's College gets Farked! for obvious reasons.

The WTF?! Truck is pulling in and this time it's carrying the stupid mascots of the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Winter Games.

BeoWhat?

2007-11-23T14:49:00.000-04:00

A lot of people have been asking about my take on Beowulf in IMAX 3D this week. We lucked into a few passes and hauled ass to the theater to see it last Wednesday, but I can see where people might be hesitant about grabbing their own tickets since the IMAX 3D experience is obviously, a lot more expensive. So here it goes.

Visually, this movie was spectacular. The advancements they've made in 3D technology blow my mind harder than finding out Doritos is now putting two flavors in one bag. (I know!) For the first 10 minutes or so (and I'm talking when the Warner Brother's sign is dancing around the screen. Not actual movie action) I felt like I might not be able to handle the 3D. There was a moment when I was certain I would have to leave. However, I was too eager to punish the people who decided to show up precisely at 7:00 when the film started and expected to still get a seat. (You snooze, you lose people.) So I got comfortable with the craziness before my eyes and began to enjoy the movie.

The attention to detail in the animation was meticulous. I had seen Robert Zemeckis's last CGI film, The Polar Express, and while I loathed it with a passion, I could still respect the dedication to the animation. Beowulf is even better. Every pore on their skin you can see, peach fuzz on their faces, even nose hairs! which, granted, were a little over-gratuitous. But the amazing CGs coupled with the 3D technology and the advanced sound system of the IMAX theater made you, literally, feel as though you were in those scenes and could reach out and touch the people, which you kinda want to do when Beowulf strips down to his skivies. Ow ow!

There was a great selection of voice talent. This movie really shows that Anthony Hopkins is good in everything he does, even if it's just talking. For the entire movie I stressed about the voice of Beowulf, certain I had heard it somewhere before. I IMDB'd the hell out of it when I got home and discovered it was Ray Winstone who had played Henry VIII in a fantastic TV movie four years ago that I loved. I honestly can't imagine the movie without him as Beowulf. Probably the best casting job I've ever encountered. Angelina left a little to be desired with her poor attempt at a Nordic accent but after seeing Alexander and Tomb Raider, who was really expecting anything better?

I didn't really want to address this but seeming as there are way too many people out there who are interested, lets get to the Angelina Jolie nude scene. First of all, I would like to point out the obvious that this is not actually Angelina Jolie. It is a digital rendering of Angelina Jolie and not even a great one at that. Her head is clearly too big for her body and she doesn't really have much of a neck. What the directors call "nude" in this movie, I call "Barbie body." You know, the curves are in all the right places, but that's as much as they're giving up. So if you're going to see this hoping to see Angelina in all her glory you may be sorely disappointed. If you're into digital ladies with disproportions who sport high heels in what was supposed to be 500AD Scandinavia, have at it. Personally, I've seen racier stuff on Jerry Springer.

I remember being in the 8th grade, and my English teacher at the time, Ms. Sparks, read us Beowulf aloud during a week of classes. I enjoyed it at the time but didn't really think much of it again until they began showing trailers for this movie and I realized that the story of Beowulf was one of the very few things I retained from a long educational career. It's one of the greatest pieces of literature of our time and Robert Zemeckis brings it to life in such a way that could only be better if they doubled the budget and shot it in live action instead.

Now, I thought I should also include a little disclaimer here. Four years ago I went to see Matrix: Revolutions in IMAX 3D, and actually came out thinking it was a good movie. It wasn't until after the fact that I spoke with others who had seen it in normal theaters that I realized that the special effects and digital imagery had seduced my senses in IMAX 3D, eclipsing the fact that it was, indeed, a horrifically bad film.

But all in all, a fantastic movie-going experience. Even if it wasn't free (which it was) I still would have paid the little extra for the IMAX ticket if I had known it was going to be that good. For regular theater-goers? Not sure how it would translate to the standard theater screen but there's definitely some value there beyond the 3D effects. Three Rings of Power!

Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

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I effing LOVE the new GAP holiday ads.

The sad reality of the game Guess Who? [VIDEO]

Cooooooooool!

Old and busted: dog tricks. The new hotness: beat-boxing birds!

According to a class-action lawsuit, Halo 3 causes the xBox to freeze and crash. A Microsoft product? I'll never believe it!

The Holiday Parade of The Frisk

2007-11-19T12:21:00.000-04:00

Ok, so lets get to it. The Chronicle Herald's Holiday Parade of Lights was this weekend. For those of you out-of-towners, it's technically the Santa Clause parade of Halifax. When I was sent the event on Facebook, I had every intention of going. Mostly because even silly little quasi 'events' like that distract from the reality that my social life is indeed, nonexistent. However, by the time Saturday hit I just wasn't feeling it.

Doing a quick cost/benefit analysis it made more sense to just miss it entirely. Why? Well, I went two years ago with some peeps. From what I remember it was ass-numbing cold, crowded on Barrington Street, and the floats weren't even that great. Most of them reminded me of kids drawings from kindergarten. You know, the kind they bring home that you only want to encourage because hey, at least they're doing it and exercising their creativity, but you're kinda bummed when you have to cover that lotto ticket on your fridge from three weeks ago that still could be a winner with a crude rendition of Bob the Builder that looks more like one of the Dozers from Fraggle Rock after one too many cocktails. But I digress.

So I thought, what can I do to make this more interesting for myself? Well, for anyone who's up to the challenge, I'm willing to throw full financial backing (which isn't much) behind any kind of float idea that sees Bruce Frisko dressed as Hermey the elf from that stop-motion Rudolph movie while the Abominable snowman chases him around with mistletoe. Bonus points if Steve Murphy plays the Abominable snowman. Throw some lights on that mess and you've got yourself a winner! And now...... I sit and wait.

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The answer to my prayers: Ghostbusters video game!

Warning: your boss is creepin' on your Facebook.

For the ladies: Matthew McConaughey doing stuff.

For the fellas, hot gamer chicks.

Carrie Underwood decided to make her American Music Awards dress out of used kleenex. [PICS]

The Pride of Really Good Times

2007-10-04T10:46:00.000-03:00

Ok, so I don't want to be using my blog to promote stuff that has to do with work..... all the time, but I would like to take this opportunity to let everyone know (if for some strange reason you haven't heard yet) that Alexander Keith's birthday celebration is THIS FRIDAY!

If you live in Halifax make sure you get yer butt to Alderney Landing for the FREE CONCERT which starts at 5pm, but the beer garden opens at 4 so you'll def want to get there then. We've got Sloan, The Novaks and Classified this year and lots of good times happening at the bars downtown after the show, most importantly the offish Keith's Birthday Celebration Locations!

Red Stag Tavern
The Lower Deck
Big Leagues
Stayner's Wharf
O'Carrol's
The Dome
The Celtic Corner
The Old Triangle
Fife and Drum Pub

Totally killer. So that's where I'm going to be this Friday. I'll be backstage for the most part but if I get the chance, I'm gonna rush the stage and yell "snowydriveway.net for life baby!!"......... ok, maybe not. That would be sick though :-) Check for pics next week!

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If you liked "D**k in a Box" you'll LOVE "Iran So Far." [VIDEO]

Where aren't they now?

Finally, proof that your cell phone will kill your ass.

The world's biggest fish tank is fake, but SICK!

And the best homeless person's street sign award goes to......

D@lhousie#1

2007-09-30T10:36:00.000-03:00

So I've been getting e-mail after e-mail for the past few weeks from Dalhousie University (who gave me two degrees in exchange for about $60,000, my left leg and my first born.) Basically they're telling me my password for my Dal e-mail account is too old, kinda like the administration.

So I go in to try to change it. I like to keep my passwords pretty simple to I change it to something short and memorable. I don't know why I bothered. I don't even use the address anymore except to get notifications from Career Services about upcoming jobs, which are never particularly lucrative and which I'm not even sure I signed up for. Anyways, I get a big error message saying my password is not the REQUIRED 8 character minimum. Ok, back to the drawing board.

I come up with something that's 8 characters long. ANOTHER error message comes up. Apparently it doesn't contain a capital letter. That's right, a CAPITAL LETTER! How many passwords have you had that has had to contain a capital letter?

Moving on, I put a god damned capital letter at the beginning of it. ANOTHER error message comes up. My password did not contain a number........ yes, a number. So I stick a 1 on the end of it. Another error message? You betcha! My password did not contain a SYMBOL!

Let's take a minute to recap here. In order for me to change my Dalhousie e-mail password, my new password had to:
1. Be at least 8 characters long
2. Contain a capital letter
3. Contain a number
4. Contain a symbol

By this time I'm just typing in random number and symbols just trying to make the damn thing shut up and stop sending me notifications to change it. So I end up throwing something random in there which I'm sure contained all of the required elements. It processes! Hooray! Now if only I could remember what I wrote. No fear, I'm sure they sent me an email confirming my NEW password so I can throw it in a Saved Messages folder to come back to and retrieve when I need it. Right? WRONG!

The only thing I get is a message stating "Thank you. Your password has been changed. Please allow a few minutes for the change to take effect." What it should have said was "Thank you. Your password has been changed. Good luck trying to remember it. You like that excruciating process punk? Do ya? Love, Dalhousie University. Making your life difficult since 1999. xoxo."

I would just like to take this time to say I will no longer be using my Dalhousie email account. It only sends me garbage and the only reason I even went through with that stupid process was so that I could still have access to MyDal where they keep my transcripts , which are fantastic by the way.

So there you have it. Kiss my butt Dalhousie. You'll never get another penny from me.

Love,
Disgruntled Alumnus 75,651........ T......@
xoxo

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This is the university I should have gone to.

Internet fad #1,756: "Me bro"

Screw your brain over with this pic.

Bill O'Rielly is out of his god damned mind.

Best computer rigs ever! [PICS]

Big Bang Baby

2007-09-25T17:35:00.000-03:00

Ok, so it's been awhile. While I've been quite busy lately and apologize for it, I'm not quite ready to let The Driveway die just yet. I'm actually trying a new stab and being responsible and more life-organized which involves things like losing 10 pounds, remembering to brush my teeth before bed, and setting out time at least every few days to blog. I mean, it's a pretty sad day when I can't find ten freakin' minutes to scribble some random mess right? The thing that kept me from coming back the most was knowing that a full update would mean adding all the photos of events from the last...... holy shit, I haven't uploaded photos since Jay's cottage, last OCTOBER! So to hell with pics for now. I'll concentrate on the blog and toss the pics up if I ever get a free minute, savvy?

So what's new. Well, many of you will know that I finally took the plunge and joined Facebook. (That's right. You wanna fight about it?) I also got my hair drastically cut (bangs baby!), I have been to Newfoundland and back again, and I got married in Vegas. Ha ha, that last part isn't true but I can think of at least 10 people who are soiling themselves right about now.... and now they're reading this part..... and they now officially hate me! Awesome, 10 more.

Anyways, moving on to Driveway revamp. I'm contemplating a new design but most people know that loyal fans of websites (of which I probably have none left) tend to get their Huggies in a bunch over new website layouts so that ice is being tread on carefully right now. I'm ditching BunnyCam for now. Scotch and Shy have been separated due to Shy's increase in self-esteem and Scotch's apparent dislike for it which has lead to aggression. We're hoping that chopping Shy's balls off will help with this. No seriously, we're getting him neutered. Once he is healed we'll try to get them back together again and see if Scotch reacts differently to him. I'm keeping the Quoteboard. Everyone loves that mess. I was going to toss the Photoshop Challenge but was convinced to keep it. We do get some decent submissions when they're promoted properly and it would be a shame to take down the others because they're so good. (I STILL get random comments about the Chow series.) Best of the Web is up in the air mostly because the web is shit now thanks to all these mass appeal sites that allow any old douche to put whatever they want online. (I'm talking to YOU MySpace, Piczo and .... Blogger!)

So, yay! That's about it for now. While blogging daily is unlikely from now on due to the fact that I'm working, I will be trying to make a bonafide effort to get something up at most a few times a week. Now for the fun stuff, the link roll!

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Balloon art kicks arse.

When amature ghosts attack. [VIDEO] (Site NSFW)

Who wants a McLovin' T-shirt? I want a McLovin' T-shirt.

Old and busted: crop circles. The new hotness: rice field art.

Jamie Fox is almost as stupid as Micheal Vick, but not quite.

Wanna play some Frogger? Of course you do. [GAME]

Astronomers find a hole in the universe, and that salami with mustard on rye I left next to it.

A Sad Day

2007-06-21T07:43:00.000-03:00

Yesterday morning three Canadians were killed when they were traveling between two check points near Sperwan Ghar in Afghanistan. One of them was Cpl. Stephen Frederick Bouzane. He was a good guy, he loved being in the military, and he was my friend. I will miss him.

Cpl. Stephen Frederick Bouzane 1980-2007

Relay Pics

2007-06-12T09:35:00.000-03:00

Just uploaded. Enjoy these pics from the Halifax Relay For Life that shook down Friday night.

Josh & Nicole setting up our tent.

Our area of ten city

We're almost rolling

Our team

Our neighbors

The survivors are piped in

Getting the party started

Everyone starts hiking it

Some weird bird-type mascot

The luminaries are lit

And burn all night

Moi, not tired at all

Josh bugs Celeste

Sara rocks the touque

Josh goes down for the count

Vern still spry at 6am

Hollah

Good morning Charlie

So there you have it. My first Relay. After planning about a dozen of them it was nice to actually see one for myself. We all had a great time and our team raised close to $4000..... even though $2800 of that was exclusively raised by Vern :-) Yay team!

HOt it,...

Watch every freaking episode of Saved By The Bell. [VIDEOS]

13 perfect gifts for imperfect dads.

Vintage ads for guns are funny.

Hateful stereotypes behind 5 lovable cereal mascots.

27 confessions from a Circuit City employee.

Nuts For Jericho Pays Off

2007-06-11T09:19:00.000-03:00

Once again, it's been too long. Anyways, first thing's first. The "Send Nuts to CBS" campaign has worked! CBS has issued a statement saying that they were quite overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from the fans of the show and have decided to make seven new episodes to air midseason this coming Fall. They have, however, been very vocal about the fact that if the show doesn't see decent viewership, there will be no more episodes to come. They will be showing re-runs of the show over the summer to try and promote the show more and get people back into the storyline. Great! Now all they have to do is not fuck it up by putting the show on hiatus again. Tards.

On Friday night I ran in Halifax Relay for Life with a team from the company I work for. The CCL Group Commanders were representing all night long with most of us on the track for the majority of the 12 hours. One member of our team actually did the whole 12 hours! He took pledges from people based on how long he could endure and by jesus he made it the whole way. The funny part is that team members half his age were ready to drop by the end of it and I swear he could have gone another 12 hours.

I got my tax return back! $1694! I don't get to enjoy much of it though. $1000 is going on my student credit line that I'm trying to pay off and the rest will be paying for my trip to Newfoundland at the end of the month. Oh well. I guess I am enjoying a little of it. I'm really excited for my trip. Mostly because I've never needed a vacation so bad in my life. I've been working ridiculous hours lately and I just need some time where I can wake up in the morning and know that there's nothing I NEED to do. I can't wait.

Lastly, despite having $20 worth of tickets, I did not win the $37 million in the 649 this weekend. I am inconsolable.

Tune in tomorrow for pics from the Relay!

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Fast food: Ads vs. reality.

Celebrities and their hot offspring.

This bartender earns his tips. [VIDEO]

And now for the greatest set of pictures ever taken. [PICS]

A history of four letter words and how they got dirty.

Nuts

2007-05-30T10:32:00.000-03:00

Ok, so many of you may or may not know by now that my new favorite show this year, Jericho, has been mercilessly canceled by CBS. What the eff am I supposed to do now!? Survivor is finished until next season, America's Next Top Model is done, 24 is offline for the next 6 grueling months. I seriously have nothing left to watch.

My prime time boredom aside, I'm legitimately upset that Jericho has been canceled. It really was the greatest new show on TV but the douchebags at CBS decided to pull a Lost a put the show on hiatus for a few weeks while it was just starting to get consistent ratings. When it came back the only people who even knew it was back on were the die-hards who would be checking for it every week. Needless to say, viewership dropped because no one knew what the hell was going on with the schedule.

Why do the networks think it is a good idea to do this? It worked for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but has yet to prove to be a good strategic move for a prime time drama series with a consistent episode-to-episode plotline. It's stupid, it's irresponsible, and it's not fair to fans of the show.

For those of you who don't know, Jericho, is/was an hour-long drama series that started this year on CBS. It stars Skeet Ulrich and is set is small town Kansas in modern times. The premise of the show is a troubled 30-something returns home only to have nearby Denver nuked to smithereens and he's forced to stay and figure out what the flip is going on. Communications systems get wiped out and as the story unfolds the townspeople find out that other major US cities have also been bombed. Not knowing whether or not help is coming or even if the government they thought they knew is still even in power, the Jericho residents deal with personal problems amidst their crisis management which includes food rationing, threatening outsiders and even all out war with neighboring towns who have all found themselves in the same situation and are desperate to survive.

The show ended in a heavy gun battle between a handful of out-manned Jericho residents and those from neighboring New Bern. When the New Bern sheriff radios Skeet's character, Jake Green, to demand a surrender, he responds with a simple "Nuts" - a reference to a World War II quote. (When General MacAuliffe was asked to surrender at the battle of the Bulge, he simply replied "NUTS!") Guns eventually start going off and the show ends...... That's it and that's all.

This is unacceptable! Thankfully I'm not the only one who feels this way. A slew of fans have launched aggressive campaigns to convince CBS to put Jericho back on the air. The JerichoLives.com website has started a "Send Nuts to CBS" campaign and with the help of NutsOnline.com (a web-based nut vendor) and their "Nuts For Jericho" program, over 13,000 pounds of peanuts have been sent to various CBS offices in the States. Various other petitions and lobbying efforts have gotten the attention of CBS, but unfortunately has yet to convince them to issue more than a statement saying that they will try and find some way to bring closure to the Jericho story.

So, yea. For the past two weeks I have been basking in the misery of knowing that Jericho will not be renewed. I'm interested in finding a new show to watch but it kinda feels like I'm looking to replace a dead child by adopting a new one. Anyways, I just felt like I needed to get that off my chest. Pan's Labyrinth review will be up soon. I'm just doing my best to try and remember it right now :-P

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The 22 worst town names in the world..... lol Twat.

Some cool scrap metal sculptures. [PICS]

Crazy lego structure.

20 best "That Guy's" of all time.

80's cartoon theme songs for days!

Re-sep-shon

2007-05-22T23:47:00.000-03:00

Ok, last batch of pics from the wedding (until I can get a hold of Jen's and the hired photogs film)...

The head table. (Notice how ridiculously sober we all are)

Gordon and Terri make a speech

Chris & Me, starting to look a little starry eyed

Cake cutting

Yummers

The single dudes line up

There is way too much hotness in this pic

Angela's uncle Philip, getting down with his bad self

Angela gets caught in a rotation

The first dance was well choreographed. Thanks Joseph.

Jen & Chris

Jeanette & Moi, on the sauce

You know there was a conga line

Are we mature enough for marriage.....

Nahhhh!

I think that's sufficient wedding coverage (for now.) Tune in later this week for my Pan's Labyrinth review!

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The 7 worst fictional towns in America.

Optical illusions are cool. [PIC]

15 eyesight myths.

Headline of the day.

Apparently John Wayne Gacy will be playing the part of The Joker in the new Batman movie.

Pro Pics

2007-05-21T09:43:00.000-03:00

While the professional photog was there to get all the great formal shots, I couldn't resist getting a few with my own cam. While it was surprisingly (or not surprisingly) cold for the middle of May, we seem to have managed to get through them without showing how butt-numbing cold we were. Check it out...

Group shot

Angela & the bridesmaids

The whole crew

Me & Ange

Jen, Angela & Me

The homies. They weren't cold at all

Tune in tomorrow for pics from the reception!

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Infiltrating a right-wing protest group. A must read.

The biggest zit ever. Warning: Hella gross. [PIC]

The hottest billionaire heiresses in pics.

Happy Meal indeed.

The skeleton of Pac-Man looks pretty much exactly like you think it would.

More Wedding Weekend '07

2007-05-18T09:47:00.000-03:00

I better get some more wedding pics up before the long weekend hits, because as of 5:00pm today I am officially unavailable. I'm going home from work, locking the door, hiding the phone, ordering some take-out, firing up the Wii and having at Zelda until Tuesday. I played a lot yesterday and I think I'm getting fairly close to the end. Anyways, more wedding pics!

Our bouquets were awesome

Group shot

Angela & her parents

Melinda & her family

Emily, Angela, Ali & Katie

Katie & Angela

BMs workin' it

Angela & Terri

Kevin and Chris

The dudes

Me, about to soil myself

Angela & Gordon

That was quick. (Chris isn't one for taking pictures)

Gettin' the hell outta there

Will's mom doing her best Morticia Adams

Mawwwwwww

Post-ceremony kafuffle

More mawwwwww

Chris was a good bouquet caddy

There we go. Keep tuning in for the nice posed pics of the wedding party.... and then the reception pics.... and then the pics Jen took... and then the offish photographer pics!!!!

Hit it...

The best eBay auction ever.

Six signs that you're a villain in a Hollywood action movie.

This bitch has mad skills. [VIDEO]

Fears & phobias of big celebs.

Headline of the day.

Wedding Weekend '07

2007-05-16T09:08:00.000-03:00

Instead of going through all the nitty gritty details of what I now like to call "Wedding Weekend '07" I thought I would instead pick some of my favorite memorable moments and then get to what you all want to see, which is pictures! So here it is. The most memorable moments were, by far...

Meeting Angela's uncle Philip and knowing immediately that he was going to become "that guy" at the wedding. (He drunkenly boogied so hard to Footloose that he left shoe scuffs all over the floor.)

Seeing Will's mother and father waltzing to White Wedding by Billy Idol.

Getting stuck on the car hunt from hell for half an hour with Kevin only to end up gasless and thinking we were about to be arrested.

Hearing the best man give a speech glorifying himself and reminding us all how lucky we were to be in the presence of his girlfriend.

Literally tying Angela into her dress and praying she didn't have to pee anytime soon.

Seeing Chris cutting a rug with Will's mom.

Not tipping at the wedding day breakfast because it's criminal to charge $15 for a breakfast buffet without choice of eggs.

Getting so involved in my "Time of My Life" dancing that I inadvertently assaulted a chair.

Building a sandwich at the sandwich buffet only to realize I didn't want a sandwich and never really wanted one, I just wanted to build one.

Waking up the next morning still in my dress. (How Chris managed to get all of those pins out of my hair is beyond me.)

So there you have it. A party just isn't a party unless you wake up the next morning still wearing the clothes you were in the night before. Considering how much I had to drink, I was surprisingly not very hungover on Sunday and was perfectly able to make it to the Ewert's for Mother's Day supper.

So what's in store for this weekend? Absolutely nothing! Long weekends are awesome and I plan on locking the door, unplugging our phone (the one that actually works and isn't just there for aesthetic purposes) and secluding myself from society for three days with a big bag of spicey nacho Doritos and my Wii. It's not as exciting as a wedding with all of your friends, great booze and great food, but it may help me finally pass Zelda. And now the first batch of pics!

The girls getting their hair done

Me getting my hair done

Katie & Angela

Katie checks out her dress.

Jenn gets beautified

Angela getting her hair done

Smoke break

Katie & Emily

Angela pearling it up

The girls chilling out

Angela tries the dress on for size

Katie helps her out

Wedding Fever

2007-05-15T09:37:00.000-03:00

Holy smokes. It's been way too long! The reason why I haven't been blogging much lately is because of wedding fever! No, not mine. Will and Angela got married this past weekend and the week leading up to it was crazy crazy crazy!

First of all, I hosted Angela's bachelorette party at my place last week....... I can't believe the word "bachelorette" is being picked up by my spell-checker.... Anyways, while I took tons of pics (as did Jenn) I doubt you'll see many of them posted here. They're a little too racy for public view (eg. there aren't many people I'd want to see me building phallic molds out of play doh.)

Friday was rehearsal day but before we made our way to the King's chapel, myself, Angela, Melinda and Jenn all went to get our nails did at Queen's on Quinpool (those bitches know nails!) Then we went running around the city so Angela could get her moms a mother's day prezzie. I personally would have postponed mother's day entirely to the next week but Angela has always been a multi-tasker.

Rehearsal went well even though it was Father Brian's first wedding ever. He seemed a little confused but everything went pretty smooth. After the rehearsal it was off to the Holiday Inn for a pizza party in Terri and Gordon's room. Then all the chickies (me, Ange, Jenn, Tara & Melinda) packed up our gear to head to Portuguese Cove for a pre-wedding sleepover at Angela's.

Since Kevin left his bag at Ange's, we were gonna drive back in Ange's car... that is, if we could find it. Matt, one of Will's groomsmen was certain he had parked it on the street parallel to Pepperell and the hotel. So we walked down that street. Nothing. We walked down the next street. No car. We called Matt. At this point he was sure it was either three or four streets down from the hotel. Then we tried the next one. By the time we hit Jubilee and were half way to campus we called again. It was at this point that he told us he had parked on Shirley street. This would have been great info a half hour earlier. We walked back to Shirley and still couldn't find the effing car! We called again. Yep, he was certain it was Shirley, and he was right. Only it was two blocks down from the damned hotel on Shirley!

We finally got on the road. But then, ruh roh! There was no gas in the car! Kevin filled 'er up and we were on our way again. After driving for about 15 minutes on Herring Cove road, sirens start blaring directly behind us! Guess who wasn't wearing their seat belt (I'm only following my father's irresponsible example!) Luckily they weren't looking for us and drove on by. Whew!

We finally make it to Angela's. Thankfully they haven't filed missing persons reports yet. Kev gets his gear and the girlies are left to their own vices. Unfortch, I had been up at 6am that day and started falling asleep standing up. I went out like a light as soon as I hit the couch. Boooo!

Anyways, more wedding fun tomorrow, but in the meantime, enjoy some pre-wedding pics!

Angela with Katie & Willy

Alli, Katie & Willy

Dave & Ella

Angela & Gordon

Will & Angela

The poor bell boy

Party time

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232 Star Wars lines improved by substituting the word "pants".

The 10 worst mothers in the world.

Harry Potter is Star Wars!

Fun with clouds. [PICS]

Paris Hilton, hot in prison stripes.

Disturbing

2007-05-04T10:13:00.000-03:00

Have you ever gone to what was supposed to be a scary movie and ended up seeing more of the boom mic than scary scenes? Yea, that was pretty much Disturbia in a nutshell.

Last Saturday night we decided to make good on some movie passes we've been sitting on for awhile. Since they were to expire on Monday, we thought we'd use 'em up good when Vanessa got in for a nice come down night before she had to leave. The pickin's were few but we finally decided on Disturbia. Long story short, guy acts out after the death of his father, ends up under house arrest, become suspicious of shady neighbor and it's up to you to decide whether or not he's right or just delusional from cabin fever. It had been the #1 movie for the past two weeks so we figured all of those people couldn't be wrong.

Turns out we were the ones that were wrong. This was not a scary movie. It was slightly suspenseful for about twenty minutes towards the end but that was pretty much it. Up until that point is was more like a teen romance/comedy.

Unfortunately, we did not pay to see a teen romance/comedy, but if we did, we would have been very entertained by Aaron Yoo, the guy who plays the main character's bumbling best friend, Ronnie who was hilariously obsessed with hijinx and T&A. He stole the show in every scene he was in and played a great character for the amount of screen time he got, which wasn't enough. Impressive also was lead Shia LeBouf who I had never heard of before but know now that he is way too good of an actor for this kind of shit. This guy needs to star opposite Meryle Streep, not Trinity from The Matrix.

Good casting aside, the film was just plain boring, and as if you didn't need another reason to believe that not a significant amount of effort went into it's production, there were multiple scenes in which you can blatantly see the boom mic hanging over the actors heads! Did they even screen this shit?! Probably not. If they did they would have been told that it was a steaming pile of disturbing crap and not disturbing in the way they intended. The drunk guys in front of us weren't even entertained by it.

Do not be fooled by the fact that this film has been #1 for three weeks. All you need to do is look at what it was up against. The Invisible? Next? The Condemned?! Disturbia is like the one-legged guy running a race against five paraplegics. It will take him awhile, but he's bound to come in first. I say bring on the summer blockbusters already. Two Gigli heads!

*Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

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Keyboard waffles!

The 7 most X-treme products of all time.

20 most amazing coincidences.

This is hilarious.... and kinda sad. [PIC]

In case you have yet to see the video of The Hoof drunk and eating a burger... [VIDEO]

Me, V & Wii

2007-05-02T14:42:00.000-03:00

Ok, so this past weekend was freakin' awesome. Vanessa got in at about 9:20 on Thursday night and myself and Chris picked her up at the airport. As soon as we got home we cracked a bottle of red wine and had at 'er. Funny enough, this was the only time we drank the entire weekend! I guess this marks the end of random drunk pics like this one.

Me & Vanessa, sober as a judge.

Friday was marathon shopping day. I took the day off work and we hit the Halifax Shopping Centre at around 1:30. 6 hours later we were wiped and about $600 in the hole each. But it's not as bad you think. Vanessa bought a new suit for work which was about $400 and I got something for that exact amount as well. That's right. I finally got a Wii!

Vanessa went into EB Games to find a game for her boyfriend and I sheepishly asked if they had any Wiis in stock, knowing I'd probably be shot down like every other time I go there and ask. Surprisingly, the guy there said they did have some! But that they'd probably be sold out within the hour. I told him we would be there for a few hours and asked if he could hold on to one for me. He said he would if I was certain I would be buying it. Of course I said I was, so he bagged it up for me and set it aside.

The thing about the Wii is that it was supposed to be mine and Chris's Valentine's Day gifts to each other, we just haven't been able to find any in stock. I bought Zelda to go along with it and hatched a plan to show it to Chris. I called him from the mall and told him I bought something for him. When I got home I took Zelda out of the bag and handed it to him. I waited for that confused realization on his face that said "Why would she get me the game when we don't even have the system?" and then he looked at me and before he could say it, I whipped out the Wii box!

Me & Chris with our Wii

That night we were pretty exhausted so we excluded any festivities to dinner at Your Father's Moustache. I got what I get everytime I go there, the grilled chicken ceasar wrap with fries. (If it's not broke, don't fix it.) Vanessa got the steak and Chris hit a giant plate of ribs.

Chris, Me & Vanessa at the 'Stache.

Saturday was shopping day #2! First we hit the Greek House for some breakfast and then we went to the "naughty stores" on Quinpool to pick up some stuff for Angela's bacherlorette party on Friday. All I have to say is that there's some pretty sick people out there! The kinds of things we saw in those stores could quite possibly turn us off from sex for the rest of our lives. I managed to pick up a few tame things and get the hell out.

Vanessa & me with the "naughty bag."

We hit the Mic Mac Mall next. Who knew it had so many stores!? Thanks to the strategy we developed the day before, we tore through it in record time and didn't do quite as much damage to our bank accounts as the day before. We both got out of the whole thing with some great new clothes worth every penny. That night we hooked up with Vanessa's friend Erin and hit the theater to see Disturbia (more on that later in the week, and it won't be pretty!)

So that was pretty much the weekend. A careful analysis of my finances showed that I should recoup the weekend's losses after this coming payday so I shouldn't suffer too much for it. The Wii is awesome! I've had it for four days and it's already worth every penny I paid for it. I'm already over 8 hours into Zelda and I'm loving it. Now all we need is a new Wiimote so I can scall Chris's ass at Wii Tennis. More on that in the future!

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Top 10 80's board games.

This is a pretty stylish way to store eggs.

This must be why Facebook is awesome.

Me want.

Thought of the average television viewer (as imagined by network executives.)

How Was It?

2007-05-01T09:39:00.000-03:00

Ok, pet peeve time. For the past two weeks or so I've been having tanning sessions once again to darken up for the summer. Aside from a little redness they've been going just fine but there's one thing that always gets me about going to these tanning salons. No matter which one you go to, whenever you come out, the person at the desk always asks "How was it?"

How was it? How was it?! Going for a tan is not like going to a movie. When you come out of a movie and someone asks you "How was it?" there are numerous responses you can give. "It wasn't really my kind of humor," "The gore kinda of turned me off," "The plot was well formulated," etc etc. Going for a tan is like eating an english muffin. "How was it?" "Well, it was pretty similar to the last time I had an English muffin." It doesn't change! It's tanning!

Anything that could have made the session good or bad won't be noticeable until at least a few hours afterwards. Why do they always ask this? I guess they expect some people to say they think they may have burned a bit so they can shove their lotion products down their throat, even though burning won't show until later. Any chance to upsell I guess. Anyways, that's all I have to say about that. Tune in tomorrow for a post about the weekend!

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Top 10 hottest sitcom moms.

Manuel Libres Librodo Jr's photography is pretty good.

The 10 Best Sarcastic Black-White Buddy Cops.

Places to see before you die.

Just when you thought the RIAA couldn't come up with any more ways to be a douche.

Bouncy Bouncy

2007-04-26T11:00:00.000-03:00

No real post today, but I did want to share these pics of Kevin Federline having the time of his life in a bouncy castle....

These made my day this morning.

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11 "guy movie" classics (and why they secretly suck.)

Cute towel foldings.

Top 10 wasted celebs.

Dare to Slack products are awesome.

Fark.com got its hair did, and it looks shitty.

You, Me & A Shitty Movie

2007-04-23T09:53:00.000-03:00

Me and Chris are tired of banking on something good coming on TV on Saturday nights. Every week we usually stay in on a Saturday deluding ourselves into thinking that Saturday is a good TV night. Every week we sit on the couch flipping through channels for about five hours. This weekend we finally got wise and decided to rent a movie instead.

So Chris goes to the convenience store up the street, which is now where we plan on renting all of our movies because you can get new releases there for $2. (Eat it Blockbuster.) It comes to a toss us between Stranger Than Fiction and You, Me & Dupree. Considering I can only tolerate Will Ferrell in movies where he's being over the top and annoying, we chose the latter.

Now, I had heard mixed things about You, Me & Dupree. Some people hated while other sweared by it as the best movie they've seen all year. So what was it like for us? Well, lets just say it could have gotten better towards the end. COULD have, but I wouldn't know, because we turned it off half-way through.

This movie is TERRIBLE! There's nothing funny about it AT ALL. The story is lame, the characters are forgettable and the plot goes absolutely no where. This isn't like Batman Begins where I give it a bad review but can still see why some people might have found it ok, and thus let them rip into me as much as they want for saying it's a steaming pile of pink shit put to film. Oh no. I will personally fight anyone who has the balls to tell me that they're gonna buy You, Me & Dupree on DVD.

I don't know what the cast was thinking when they signed up for this shit. Jesus Kate. How can you go from something like Almost Famous to this garbage? Owen Wilson gets to act immature again only this time the humor has been liposuctioned from every scene he is in. Matt Dillon, who refuses to disappear, plays a character who becomes absolutely loathsome and not even for the reasons you think he does. He's supposed to start letting loose again after his buddy moves in to his newlywed abode. Instead he just starts to hate his work and takes it out on those around him. What the fuck is up with that. It's supposed to be a romantic comedy people!

I normally love Owen Wilson, but is he nothing without Stiller, Vaughn & his brother? The guy who wrote You, Me & Dupree has no other writing gigs to his credit according to the IMDB so I might like to blame this film entirely on writing. Oh yea, and on the fact that the cast was stupid enough to sign on for it. Booo! Three Gigli heads!

*Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

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The 15 most outrageous claims in pop music history.

The MySpace party from hell.

The offish Transformers website has some new desktop wallpapers.

Top 20 hottest female athletes.

The Virginia Tech shooter has made some strange purchases on eBay.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-04-22T15:01:00.000-03:00

Hobbit house!

America's worst new reality shows.

Great moments in farting history.

Domain Renewal is a Lame Post Name

2007-04-20T10:31:00.000-03:00

The other day I got a familiar email in my inbox. It was my annual reminder to renew snowydriveway.net with TeraByte, my service provider. Every year when I get the notice I, without hesitation, renew the domain for a whole $20 per annum. (Big bucks I know.) This year, I didn't.

It's still sitting in my inbox waiting for a response. Over the past few days I've really done a lot of thinking about whether or not I want to renew. This comes shortly after I first got the thought in my head of ultimately shutting The Driveway down. Considering my daily clockwork updates have been demoted to random, sporadic posts without the value and wit of posts of old, the renewal deadline couldn't have come at a worse time.

I've been tossing around the idea of getting a new domain and starting a new website that will require about half the time of The Driveway with shared responsibilities between me and some friends of mine. Our dream of starting a nerd culture news site keeps on trucking and I'm wondering if now might be the best time to try and get it off the ground. Additionally I've been thinking that I may succumb to the social pressure of joining Facebook so I can store personal shit there and start the new nerd culture website at snowydriveway.net.

The problem is that I've had additional tasks added to my portfolio at work and while it used to be easy to find an hour here and there to get something up, I find I barely have time to catch my ride home at 5 let alone pen a creative and funny blog post deserving of your eyes.

My heart is breaking because I feel like I'm slowly witnessing the end of an era. For the past 5 years I've been very dedicated to The Driveway and I'm really proud of what it has become but I'm becomming more and more dissapointed by what it isn't anymore. I miss the days when I could throw a photoshop challenge at people on the fly, I'm sad that I can't find an additional hour every few weeks to throw a "Best of the Web" article up, and I'm mostly angry that I haven't been able to find time to get pics up from the past 5 months.

Even this post is a cop out. I really have nothing else to talk about so I thought I'd just have my own little personal therapy session. Could it be that my life just isn't that eventful anymore? Is this what growing up feels like? It sucks!

I think I'm going to sit on my domain renewal for another little while. Vanessa gets in for a visit next weekend and there's no doubt I'll have lots to talk about then, plus lots of pics. It could be the electric charge that this website (and my life) need. Sorry for being a baby.

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Prostitution enters the World of Warcraft, and it's not pretty.

Are "Bro-mantic Comedies" the new hotness?

Worth1000 has one letter off movie promos.

Top 50 professional wrestling movies of all time.

Madonna is a hot mess in Malawi. (And her daughter could lose the 'stache.)

Homeward Bound... Again

2007-04-17T23:43:00.000-03:00

I don't plan on talking about the Virginia Tech campus shooting today except to say that the world is going to hell in a hand basket and we're all fucked.

Anyways, I think I've finally nailed down my trip to Newfoundland this summer. Considering the date of Amanda's wedding, my birthday and taking the Canada Day holiday weekend in, I've decided to leave Halifax on June 29th and be in Newfoundland until July 8th. That way I can take only 4 vacation days and be home for 9 days. Totally killer.

So yay! I'm hella excited. It's gonna be super fun. I don't think there's anything I like more in the world than going home, and this time there's a bonus. I get to chill for 9 days with Donna's new puppy, Napoleon!

Weeee! He's cute!

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37 famously stupid celebrity quotes.

Body shapes through the years.

Ok, this guy is CRAZY talented. [VIDEO]

Who is more famous? I got 12 in a row.

Virginia Tech gunman identified.

The Curse of the Lazy Blogger

2007-04-16T10:40:00.000-03:00

Good lord. Three days and no post. You know it's a sad time when I can't even muster something up on the weekend. Anyways, I had an eventful weekend. Friday night was our regular poker game and I won of course. Well, I came in second which is kinda of like winning, right? At least there's benefits for second place. Saturday night we went to Angela's house in Portuguese Cove for a food sampling party. We got to try out everything that's going to be served at the wedding next month and most of it was pretty good. While I wasn't a huge fan of the spicy chicken kabobs, they seemed to be a hit with most of the guys there. Last night we thought we'd stay in and get a movie since we were so out and about for the rest of the weekend, which brings me to today's post.

I've been itching to watch The Curse of the Golden Flower ever since I saw trailers for it on TV before Christmas. I passed on seeing it in theater but picked it up last night. The film was directed by Zhang Yimou who you may remember from House of Flying Daggers and Hero fame. I personally laud him for his work in Raise The Red Lantern which in my opinion is the best film to ever come out of Chinese theater. (Pick it up if you haven't seen it yet.)

The Curse of the Golden Flower's story is focused on a fictitious royal family of China during the 10th century Tang dynasty. Ancient royal family dysfunction features prominently as secrets of poisoning, rebellion, illicit affairs, and betrayal are all revealed as the royal household prepares for the upcoming Chrysanthemum Festival. Classic plots between the dictatorial Emperor, his rebellious wife, and their three sons make this film and classic tale of power struggle run amok.

When I watched both House of Flying Daggers and Hero I expected a lower budget mimic of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Every time an epic is made, people try to duplicate it. That's exactly what I got with both of those movies. A beautiful duplicate. Visually stunning with elaborate costumes, fight scenes that resembled a dance more than a battle, and beautiful exteriors. Unfortunately, the storyline couldn't come close. You really had to endure it for the sake of being able to watch it and most of the time you just didn't know what the hell was going on but it didn't take much to submit and give up trying to understand.

The Curse of the Golden Flower has twice the visual appeal of both of Zhang's other main stream films but makes good on the story as well. It is very straightforward with little guess work to be done but still has the appeal of plot twists that you know are bound to happen, mostly in the form of wondering which characters will actually live to see the end. All of the main characters have at least one other person who wants them dead and waiting to see how that plays out keeps the viewers attention.

Another aspect of the film that I enjoyed is that it didn't bank heavily on its fight scenes. In fact, they were considerably shorter than many other Chinese movies I've seen and fewer in number. Instead, it was more focused on the development of relationships, the demise of the same relationships, and schooling the viewer on ancient Chinese courtly culture at the same time.

I'm always frustrated by the language barrier that exists. We watched it with English subtitles but I can't help but feel that a lot of the emotion and depth gets lost in translation. While I enjoyed the story I felt that it could have used a little more "oomph" which I probably would have forgotten about if only I knew Chinese and was more taken in by the dialogue and acting which I'm sure Chinese viewers found spectacular.

So yea. The story was better put together than Zhang's other movies which always plays second fiddle to his dragged out battle scenes, but it still lacked. That being said, the costumes and sets were some of the best I've ever seen..... ever! And it's worth taking the time and money to watch it if only for that. It's very refreshing to have a Chinese film that, although is obviously adapted for a main stream audience, doesn't fall into the one-trick-pony category of over-elaborate displays of martial arts. The Chinese film industry has more to offer including exquisite art direction, cinematography, and dramatic performances. Two Rings of Power!

*Click here for details on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system*

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I am now kind of excited for the Get Smart movie.

Almost as excited as I am for Astro Boy!

Sour Grapes: Some of history's sorest losers.

Top 10 greatest movie bullies.

Say it fast. Speed stacking! [VIDEO]

Please Forgive Me

2007-04-12T08:44:00.000-03:00

So sorry everyone but I'm up to my arse in work today and I don't think I'll be able to do a full post. Here's a bigger shot of links though, Enjoy!

Today's dose of awwwwwww.

The top 20 greatest TV show themes.

The good vs. evil foosball table.

Wicked sick volcanic eruption. [PIC]

Johnny Cash's house falls into, you guessed it, a burning ring of fire.

Top 100 unsexiest men of 2007.

The dos and don'ts of throwing the first pitch.

Katie Couric is a big fat liar and is totally oblivious to it.

Man Hands

2007-04-11T10:18:00.000-03:00

Well, it seems that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. We can all sleep at night now. Or at least we can watch the news without being bombarded by baby-daddy drama. Instead, we can now continue to be bombarded with........ soldier deaths in the Iraq war...... Iran's nuclear threats..... Sanjaya's immortality on American Idol....... I want the Anna Nicole Smith baby-daddy fiasco back!! Anyways, now that we don't have that little piece of fluff to entertain us anymore, lets turn our attention towards another celebutard phenomenon: Paris Hilton's Man Hands!!

For those of you who have yet to notice, Paris Hilton has some scary-ass man hands! For someone with such a feminine physique, those bad boys really stand out like.... well, like sore big-ass man thumbs. Have a look for yourself...

Paris takes her man hands for a walk

Paris contemplates her enormous man hands

Paris tries to cover her man hands

Paris tries to dwarf her man hands with a chunky ring

Paris text messages with her manly hands

It's really quite freakish if you ask me. Granted it's not "Zsa Zsa Gabor's 65 year old husband claims he fathered Anna Nicole's baby" kinda freakish, but it's right up there..... just like most things around Paris. Muahahah! Ok, I'm done for the day. Enjoy the links!

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Apple sells 100 million iPods, achieves world domination.

Pancake art. [PICS]

How to pick your nose inconspicuously.

Top 10 80's robots (we expected to exist by now)

Swedish tank drifting. [VIDEO]

Subway - A Love Affair

2007-04-10T09:24:00.000-03:00

So ever since a Subway Restaurant opened near me (around 1995 I guess) I have religiously been ordering the same sub every time I visit. No lie. The exact same sub. For almost 12 years I have, without fail, ordered the fantastical, classical...

Cold Cut Combo!

Mmmmmmm. All this bad boy needs is cheese, deli meats, lettuce and extra mayo and you're laughing. The best part about the Cold Cut is that it's one of the more low-cal subs not to mentioned the fact that it's also one of the cheaper ones with an even bigger discount being given on Cold Cut Combo Tuesdays!

While I adore the Cold Cut and still feel very much loyalty towards it, I have found myself, shall we say "cheating" on it lately. Chris always orders a different sub and since my favorite line to Chris is always "Are you going to finish that?" I have found myself taking sample bites of his sub lately. I thought it was fine as long as I didn't break the tradition of actually ordering one myself.

Well, two weeks ago I took the plunge. Alone for lunch with no Chris around to give me a loophole of ordering and buying it for me, I did it. I ordered a sub that wasn't the Cold Cut Combo...... and I loved it!

I have definetly found my new order at Subway. I have ordered it every time I've eaten lunch there for the past two weeks, and even though today is Cold Cut Combo Tuesday, I still think I will be getting it today. So what is this seductive sub that has caused me to abandon my beloved Cold Cut? Why it's the...

Oven Roasted Chicken Breast!

With cheese, lettuce, mayo and bbq sauce, this is honestly the best sub I have ever had. Throw some Italian herb and cheese bread and you've got a winner. Yea, it's higher in fat than the Cold Cut and is a tad bit more expensive but it's worth it. If you haven't already, I implore you to try it. I, myself, will be hitting it in about four hours and I'll be loving every minute of it. Happy eating!

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8 of the craziest cults.

Masters jacket perks. By Phil Mickelson.

The 20 best crime thriller films of all time. You KNOW what's #1.

Is it sad that I'm a little excited for this.

Shot through the heart! This toy is awesome!

Another Conspiracy Theory

2007-04-09T10:06:00.000-03:00

Arrrgghh! So needless to say I was without an internet connection for the weekend. Since myself and Chris are now going to be sharing his computer (mine got borked about a month ago) he's formatting it so we can start fresh. A great idea but shitty in terms of getting daily blogs posts up on the weekend.

Anyways, something a little interesting to talk about today. When myself, Chris and Geoff were driving into the city from Brookside on Saturday morning, we happened upon something a little strange as we came onto the Armdale rotary. I looked up to see a low-flying airliner in the sky but had a bit of a WTF moment as I noticed what appeared to be two fighter jets flanking each side of it. Wondering if I was hallucinating I told Chris and Geoff to have a look. Sure enough, they saw it too.

The fighter jets were so close to the plane we almost mistook it for a kite, but considering the ground it was covering it was obvious that it was indeed, three planes flying together with the fighter jets acting as some sort of escort.

We didn't really think much of it until later on in the day when we turned on the news to Elizabeth Chue covering the story. Apparently the Halifax airport had received a few calls from concerned people who had seen the planes. The official statement from the airport from the bullhorn of spokesperson, Peter Spurway was that...

"We had a couple of RAF jets and a DC-10 in earlier in the week (for maintenance)."

"They were leaving today and they just take off and do a loop around."

"[They were] in the general vicinity of an Air Canada jet," which may have caused concern for onlookers."

"The fact of the matter is, the two (events) are completely unrelated."

This is the biggest pile of purple horse shit I've ever heard in my life. I saw those planes. There is no way in hell that these flights were unrelated. They were insanely close together, the jets were obviously flanking the airliner, and they were following the same flight pattern.

The jets were escorting the airliner. I would bet my life on it. I don't know what kind of smoke the Halifax airport (or the Canadian government for that matter) are trying to blow up our asses but they're kidding themselves if they think an explanation like that will fly. (No pun intended.) Something is being covered up here in a bad way.

My only regret is that I didn't have my camera on hand to photograph the incident but today I came across a photo taken by HRM resident John O'Sullivan who snapped this pic as the planes flew over Shannon Park. Judge for yourself.

Either those jets are escorting that airliner or an air traffic controller is getting fired right now. I'm going with the former. Something shady is going on.

Hit it...

5 Reasons George W. Bush Isn't As Stupid As You Think.

10 ways to have fun with boobs.

Three cheers for Disney!

The war is fucking up the world in more ways than I can count.

I think this picture sums up nicely Lindsay Lohan's relationship with the world. Dancin' like a ho with while no one gives a shit.

This is For My Peeple

2007-04-06T11:43:00.000-03:00

Long weekends own! What's this one for again? Oh yea, Easter. Another Christian holiday imposed upon the entire world, but hey, at least they benefit a little from it right? Anyways, I'm planning on getting a fair amount of sleep this weekend and I'm already on the right track. I hit a two hour power nap yesterday before heading out for our (typically Friday) poker game. I actually took the whole pot with pocket deuces. I normally wouldn't even play that hand but it was down to me and Mark with myself having a slightly larger chip lead, he called all in and I had lost big folding the deuces last week so I went for it. So yea, a great game. We re-fortified the fact that I have yet to lose whenever Cohen buys me in. Seriously, this has happened at least 7-8 times in the past 3-4 months.

Anyways, on to what this weekend really means. Hmmm, now lemme see. Jesus' death and resurrection? No, no. It's not that....... Wait! It's about eating marshmallow Peeps until you puke! In honor of the fantastic icon of Easter culture that is the marshmallow Peep, I've decided to compile a link roll for today that are solely dedicated to promoting the fluffy, sugary chicks. Ch-ch-check it out.

Hit it...

Movie and history illustrated by marshmallow Peeps.

Peep Research.

The history of Peeps in the news.

Peep jousting.

Peeps factory tour.

Marshmallow Peeps in Outer Space. [GAME]

50 Things Part Deux

2007-04-05T10:33:00.000-03:00

Ok, so yesterday we talked about some of the things women have deluded themselves into thinking their men should know. Today, we're counting down and berating the final 25 items in the list. Check it out...

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

That would depend on what you look like, act like, smell like, and where you are going in life.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

Hmmm, yea I'll give that one credit.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

You can only learn to lead by following first. Maybe when I'm 50 this one might count.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

Or the white one

30. I want to be Madonna.

Correction. I wanted to be Madonna, until she turned into the world's biggest self-righteous douche.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

And find us morphine when we get them because they hurt like a bitch.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

More like I'm intoxicated and need support.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

Especially holding a baby!

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

Again, some people are just insecure.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

Big time!

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

Trust me, I already know.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

If I'm feeling bored I'll start looking.

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

Only my ex-bf's.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

If you don't know what you're talking about, best not to say anything.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

Celebrating anniversaries are stupid until you're married.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

Ew! WTF?!

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

It's best to consult ME for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

I suppose.

44. I like porn.

....... No comment.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

I like holding your (figurative) balls in the palm of my hands. Heh, just kidding. That was hilarious though.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

There's a time and place for everything and "in public" usually isn't it.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

It's only cheating when you #*&@ someone else, but that doesn't mean you won't get your ass left for the others.

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

Yep.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

I have a dreadful memory but I'm sure this is true for most women.

50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

No one is a fucking mind reader. Assuming otherwise is usually what dooms most relationships.

Well, there you go. I hope I didn't sound too condescending and I hope I'm not being a traitor to my gender. I'm just calling it the way I see it. Most women might disagree with me but these are usually the kind of women who end up alone at 50 with a house full of cats.

Hit it...

5 minutes to kill (yourself): a deranged flash game. [GAME]

Best baby break-dancer ever. [VIDEO]

10 horrible deep sea creatures.

Headline of the day.

The 5 most annoying banner ads on the internet.

50 Things She Wants You To Believe

2007-04-04T09:35:00.000-03:00

Yesterday I found a link to a cute little write-up in Men's Health magazine. It was called "50 Things She Wishes You Knew." Like most of the links in the link roll I only glanced at it for a sec before I chose to add it with a sly "Pay attention to this fellas" follow up. Looking to kill another ten minutes on my lunch break before getting back to the grind, I thought I'd actually read through them all. Well, it turns out that many of these are bullshit! Either that or I'm not like most women. Granted, there were some I had to agree with but for the most part I couldn't endorse this list as legit. For the record, I thought I'd go through them all and say exactly what I personally think of them.

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

Only immediately before doesn't count because it's then when you're trying to get us in the sack. Anytime after we've already submitted is fair game.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

This is true.

3. I will leave if you lie.

Depends on what the lie was. If it's "your diet can accommodate this Ben & Jerry's" it's fine. If it's "she tripped and fell on my cock" we leave.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

Um, no.

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

Not really. We might obsess about it 24-48 hours after we were supposed to get it but have yet to.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

Not if it's "Make me a sandwich" which it usually is.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

Apparently neither is anything else when dealing with most insecure bitches. This question should never be asked under any circumstances.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

..... and Johnny Depp, and Orlando Bloom, and Matthew McConaughey.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

This is mostly true.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

I guess some people are easily entertained.

11. I expect you to call me.

And you better

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

No one is allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

Yes

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

Yes

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

Take out the oral sex and replace it with Toblerone.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

If I seem cool with it, chances are I am. If I'm not, you'll know it.

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

Who the hell uses sex for blackmail? That's borderline prostitution.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

Maybe in pretentious New York.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Not only would I be afraid to use it, I'd be afraid to tell anyone I have it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

This is also another example where lying is acceptable.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

Fancy-schmancy dress-up dates require at least two days notice and prior consent. Weekend getaways are fine. Improptu ones are not. That requires packing in a hurry which means I will forget my toothbrush and hair dryer.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

Especially white ones.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

Ever...... EVER!

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

If I eat it, I'm yours forever.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

Just don't constantly stare at them like they're the gold at the end of the rainbow.

So, as you can see, some truth but there's a lot of hyperbole in this list. I'd love to meet the woman who supposedly compiled it and then talk to some of her ex boyfriends of which I'm sure she has plenty. I'll be continuing with the last 25 points on this list tomorrow. Tune in then and enjoy today's links.

Hit it...

This game is fun! I got 41,000 points. [GAME]

iPod pillow speakers.

Warren Beatty is so vain.

The worst pro wrestling injury I've ever seen. Oucharoo! [VIDEO]

The mayor of Cincinnatti throws the worst first pitch....... ever. [VIDEO]

It Will All Be Worth It

2007-04-03T10:14:00.000-03:00

Just to keep everyone up to speed on the new Transformers live-action movie (and I use "live-action" lightly) I wanted to toss out a chance for you to check out the new trailer that's just been released...

Not bad eh? Definitely some new goodies to see. That being said, one of the old trailers aired during the new episode of 24 last night. Seeing it on a grainy YouTube feed and seeing it on a big ass shiny LCD big screen TV are two very different things and it led me to believe that there is no way for this movie to be bad. The story might be shit and the acting might be garage but I doubt I'll be leaving the theaters on July 4th feeling shitty about the way I chose to spend my 26th birthday. My only hope is that they have it on IMAX.

From what I've seen of the CG robots, it looks like they'll be enough to carry this thing from beginning to end. While I'm not so down with the edging and structure (they just don't look as "boxy" as they did in the show) they seem to move and transition very well.

Another bonus is that I just found out Glenn Morshower is in the film! For those of you who don't recognize the name, you may know him better as Agent Aaron Pierce, the greatest Secret Service agent to ever join the ranks of the 24 cast. He's a little bit far down the credits list so I'm not really sure how much screen time he might get, but I'm jazzed nonetheless.

So yea, just another quick post to get you PUMPED about the Transformers movie. I think this film is gonna blow the roof off of the summer blockbuster box office and I can't wait!

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This documentary is going to be pretty good. [VIDEO]

Some piss-your-pants-hilarious moments in soccer. [VIDEO]

Paris should lay off the Carl's Jr. Homegirl's got some junk in the trunk.

Ukraine graffiti beats the second-rate gang signs on my building. [PICS]

LOL. Jeremy Piven humiliated on Valentine's Day in front of his date because no one knows who the fuck he is.

Young Triffie's Been Wasting My Time

2007-04-02T08:44:00.000-03:00

Last week I chanced into some free tickets to the screening of the film Young Triffie. For those of you that haven't heard of it (and that's probably most of you) it's a movie based on the play Young Triffie's Been Made Away With by Newfoundland satirist, Ray Guy. It's basically about a young, incompetent member of the Newfoundland Rangers who is called into a small outport in 1947 Newfoundland to investigate an incident of mutilated sheep. On his trip there however, a murder takes place and he finds himself in a little over his head when he arrives. Shot in Port Rexton, Newfoundland, it features Canadian talent such as Mary Walsh (This Hour Has 22 Minutes), Fred Ewanuick (Corner Gas), Colin Mochrie (Whose Line Is It Anyway?), and Andrea Martin (SCTV). A co-worker of mine thought that I'd appreciate it being from Newfoundland and all so I decided to check it out.

I really wanted to like this movie. I endured nearly 2 solid hours of dreariness in The Shipping News out of support for Newfie-associated film. Unfortunately, I was to do the same with this one. Now don't get me wrong. It had its moments. People getting smoked in the face is always hysterical (at least to me) but that's pretty much where anything good about this film ended.

I get the concept of "dark comedy" but the supposed humor in this just didn't fly. When I think "comedy" the kinda themes that come into my head aren't really centered around such topics as child abuse, stabbings, and kiddie porn. Those are all buzz kills if you ask me. You can have someone getting smoked in the face time and time again but no amount of it is gonna make a 55 year-old reverend getting mail-order child pornography funny. It kinda reminded me of British comedy in a sense. I know that there's someone out there that finds it funny, but chances are me and that person wouldn't get along.

And lets not leave out the other topics of interest. Drunk doctors? Pedophilia? Incest? Simpleness? Yea, those are all vicious stereotypes Newfoundlanders aren't trying to get away from. I expected a little better from Mary Walsh who is Newfoundland-born herself and directed the film as well.

It also seemed like the movie didn't really know what it was as it progressed. At first it was like "I'm a comedy!" then it was "I'm a bad comedy!" then it was "Nope, I'm a dramady" then it was "I'm a dark comedy" to the point where it was just "I'm a bad movie." They threw one or two funny lines in at the end to remind you that it was at least supposed to be funny but that's not going to stop me from giving it one Gigli head. At least I didn't pay for the ticket.

*Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

Hit it...

Top 100 April Fool's Day hoaxes of all time.

What your girlfriend's Hollywood crush says about you.

Another dose of "Awwwwww." [VIDEO]

Today's teens won't be able to do shit without their computers.

Well now, isn't this just sad as hell.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-04-01T10:45:00.000-03:00

World War III has begun! Ha ha ha. April Fool's bitches!

The Craigslist personal ad translator.

The ghostly angel of the Vatican?

Some pretty cool pics of a 17th century war ship. [PICS]

Game faces. Mine is like the first guy's. [PICS]

Kelly Clarkson's got the right idea. You wanna look thinner? Hang around people fatter than you.[PICS]

Saturday Link Roll

2007-03-31T09:14:00.000-03:00

Celebrity nose jobs: Before and after. [PICS]

Build your own corporate universe with The Cubes.

A couple of beer myths.

How to celebrate Lent in the modern age.

7-11's to become Kwik-E-Mart's for The Simpsons movie release.

Muah

2007-03-30T08:59:00.000-03:00

I am giving a presentation to the board of directors for the company I work for today (eeeek!) so there won't be a post. Sorry! I just wanted to let you know that I love each and every one of you. *Muah*

Hit it...

Check out the new posters for the Transformers movie.

Some crazy buildings in Asia.

The Last Snack.

No, No NO!! Wrong WRONG!

Blogiversary

2007-03-29T08:43:00.000-03:00

So yesterday was the anniversary of Wit & Sarcasm, my buddy Jonathan's blog. I had never really thought about my blog's anniversary before but some quick archive checking showed me that the 3-year anniversary of The Snowy Blog is coming up on June 25th.

I'm trying to determine whether or not this is important. The thing is that The Snowy Blog is just a part of The Snowy Driveway. While the blog has been up for almost 3 years, The Driveway itself has been up for nearly 6. Unfortunately I can't pinpoint a particular time in which it went up making celebrating an anniversary pretty difficult.

I figure since the blog is the only part of the website that regularly updated and that it's probably The Driveway's main lure, that I'll probably do at least a little somethin' somethin' for the three year. I'm tossing around the idea of doing a week's worth of "The Best of the Snowy Driveway" blogs posts where I go grave digging through the archives to find the posts that I actually put some time into (unlike this one.)

Anyways, I've got some time to think about it and start the search, but in the meantime, if there was a post that you particularly enjoyed, let me know and I'll do a run through of it for consideration. It's bound to be a funny week in June. Poice!

Hit it...

John McCain's MySpace gets hax0red.

10 things you didn't know about the sun.

The 25 worst rapper names in hip hop history.

WWGWBD? (What Would George W. Bush do?)

Speaking of Bush, the Brazillians aren't big fans.

Only You Can Save a Life

2007-03-27T10:45:00.000-03:00

Another day. Another day. Let's get to it. I find that whenever you hear a story about someone donating a kidney to save their father, or blood for their son who was just in a car crash, you commonly hear these people referred to as heroes. I guess they are in the sense that because of them a life was saved, but what is the alternative, really? You could say no I guess. But who does that? Apparently, this woman does.

With her brother dying from leukemia, Helen Pretty has outright refused to donate her bone marrow that would save his life. This greasy fat cow says that she wants to put her family first even though there are basically no risks associated with donating bone marrow.

Can you believe this shit? Her brother has three small children and a wife. He has spent his life working towards two masters degrees and is now working on his PhD while in treatment. All he needs is a god damned bone marrow transplant and this ho won't give it up.

All I have to say is what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch and this skank will get hers.

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Scum Bag-Off! Politicians vs. Celebrities.

The 25 best sports movies of all time.

Real life Shrek!

The 20 greatest historical myths

Some funny crazy roomate stories.

Bobby Turns 20

2007-03-26T09:10:00.000-03:00

You know what I haven't had on my blog is a long time? Pictures! I swear, it's been at least since Christmas...... or maybe New Year's.

Anyways, yesterday me and Chris went to his parent's place to celebrate his cousin's birthday. Bobby turned 20 and we all went down to hit some pizza and toss a few gifts at him. Good times all around. Check it out...

Hit it...

The State of the Afro: The best and worst in music history.

10 strange facts about Einstein.

Best....treehouse....ever.

Talk about walking on someone's grave.

Because of his wife's cancer battle, John Edwards discourages sympathy votes....... on the outside.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-03-25T11:28:00.000-03:00

Fark Photoshop Contest: Cartoon characters off camera.

20 possible reasons why the American Idol girl was crying.

Pornography statistics 2007.

The results of the all the Mythbusters episodes.

The state of Texas wants to buy your baby.

The evolution of the word "slut". The Toronto Star seems very learned on the subject.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-03-24T12:58:00.000-03:00

Silver Sphere. I got to level 6. [GAME]

Some pretty bitchin' lightning photography. [PICS]

The 5 most ridiculous March Madness ads.

The Wii is great for all ages.

Looks like Mel Gibson is back on the hooch.

Potpourri

2007-03-23T08:58:00.000-03:00

What a week. I'm glad it's over and mostly that today is also pay day! Tomorrow we have to take the bunnies to the vet. It's nothing serious. It's just that we are finding it impossible to clip their nails ourselves. They are both fairly hyperactive and it's virtually impossible to do more than one nail at a time. With Pandora it's easy. You plop her in your lap and clip away, done in two minutes. Whoever thought she would turn out to be the good bunny?

Anyways, not much else to talk about today. I'll be hitting up our weekly poker game tonight. Hopefully winning a few bucks to put towards pledges for the Relay For Life. Yep, after three years of planning half a dozen of them, I finally get to actually be in one. Tomorrow I think me and Chris are gonna hit the movies with our gift certificates. If that's the case expect a movie review on Monday. In the meantime, enjoy the weekend links.

Hit it...

Nintendo DS cake! [PIC]

A couple of funny ways to call in sick.

Tour a 7 million dollar home. [PICS]

Top 10 adult versions of Oscar winners.

Jesse Metcalf enters rehab and asks the media to respect his privacy. Considering the media wouldn't even have known about it if his publicist didn't issue a press release leads me to believe he's going about it in the wrong way.

You Might Be A Terrorist

2007-03-22T10:20:00.000-03:00

You know what's funny? How about the fact that the United States thinks that anyone who farts sideways is a terrorist? No lie. Before it was just if you looked like a terrorist or exhibited suspicious behavior. Now the slightest oddity or out of the ordinary actions will have your ass nailed to a cross on the cover of Time magazine. It happens so frequently that this past year or so I thought it would be funny to collect news stories where the US authorities have gotten their Huggies in quite a bunch over some pretty trivial things. Check them out...

If you have a student loan, you might be a terrorist.

If you're a new mother who needs to feed her infant on a plane, you might be a terrorist.

If you're a teenage girl with a MySpace account and a hate-on for Bush, you might be a terrorist.

If you dress up like Osama Bin Laden for Halloween, you might be a terrorist.

If you carry matches, you might be a terrorist.

If you're a 3-year-old girl crying on a plane, you might be a terrorist.

If you call someone a terrorist, who actually is a terrorist, you might be a terrorist.

If you try to bring flour-filled condoms onto a plane, you might be a terrorist..... ok, in this case you really might be a terrorist but in this particular case, she wasn't.

If you buy bananas, you might be a terrorist.

If you go out a lot without telling people where you're going, you might be a terrorist.

If you work to spread a positive view of Islam through philanthropy and missionary work , you might be a terrorist.

I'm sure there are various other capacities in which one may be branded a terrorist in the US and I'll be collecting anything new that I hear about to report on later. Now, if you'll excuse me, the FBI just showed up at my door and have charged me with terrorism for not recycling. Oh the humanity!

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The NFL starting lineup..... of criminals!

Top 10 movie action hero one-liners.

A collection of people posing next to their Miis. [PICS]

Top 15 Unintentionally Funny Comic Book Panels.

Privacy screen for your iPod? Now no one has to know you listen to Danko Jones.

Light 'er Up

2007-03-21T09:21:00.000-03:00

Not much to talk about today. The new season of Jericho is underway so I'll be hitting that up tonight. If you're looking for a great new show to watch (like I was a few months back) then definitely get into this one. It's super awesome with crap-your-pants goodness 24-style every week. In the meantime, check out these pics of the Northern Lights (the phenomenon, not the band) in Yellowknife that Erika sent me last night. Pretty cool eh?

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This is probably the sickest Wii case mod you will ever see. [PIC]

Rotten Tomatoes has the 100 worst-reviewed films of all time.

I hate this game because I'm not good at it. It's fun though. [GAME]

Check out the trailer for Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. [VIDEO]

David Beckham puts his name on yet another thing he won't have anything to do with.

3 and Counting

2007-03-20T09:29:00.000-03:00

So you want to hear something funny? Remember when I posted about the DSU elections a week and a half ago with my random picks for winning candidates saying that I was going to promote the hell out of people I chose for the entire campaign week? Yea, there was just one problem. Campaign week was last week and I had no idea it was even going on! Sorry to anyone who may have wanted to hear more about my picks but I doubt there were many of you.

So on to more important things. It's been a week since I cut out after supper eating during week days and I've already lost 3 pounds! Who knew I ate that much after supper..... well, I guess I did but didn't really want to admit it to myself. So I'm well on the way to fitting comfortably into my bridesmaid dress and not looking like too much jello stuffed into a Ziploc bag. It's good prep for the summer too because I plan on buying a nice new swim suit this year........ white maybe, with a halter neck. Yea.

Anyways, Chris' mom gave us a gift certificate on Sunday night for $10 to Empire Theaters. I figure we'll go see a flick this week or next since it expires soon but there's really nothing I'm looking forward to seeing. Let's examine the evidence.

Reign Over Me - A little too depressing for theaters I think. I don't really want to see someone's life falling apart before my eyes while I'm gorging myself on popcorn and pretzels with a greasy smile on my face.

Shooter - I love Marky Mark but I think he's just trying to be Jack Bauer in this one. The problem with people who are pretending to be Jack Bauer, is that they're not Jack Bauer and it's painfully obvious.

The Hills Have Eyes II - I don't really remember the first one being that good.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - It's just not the same anymore.

Colour me Kubrick - I like Kubrick as much as the next person but the only thing worse than Eyes Wide Shut is a movie featuring the making of Eyes Wide Shut.

Blades of Glory - John Heder and Will Ferrell? Now we're talking.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force The Movie - Now I have to start choosing between good ones. How did this happen?

Ok, so before it expires well have a chance to put it towards a good cause. Honestly though, the only movie I'm exceptionally looking forward to right now is Transformers in July. I still don't know what to think of it but I'm going to have to go see it anyways to find out for sure. Anyways, out for now.

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80's montage mania! 10 classic montages. [VIDEOS]

Space invaders wrapping paper!

Lindsay should be locked up with Britney for wearing this eye bleeder.

It's that time of year: Vote for FHM's 100 sexiest. (Tissues not included)

You wanna see what Anna Nicole Smith would look like as a marshmallow Peep? Hell yea you do!

Popcorn and a Guillotine

2007-03-19T11:16:00.000-03:00

On Saturday night I watched Marie Antoinette. I had been meaning to rent it for some time and since I had the place to myself Saturday and that I wouldn't have to torture anyone else with it, I picked it up. Now, I had heard from multiple different sources that it was pure garbage: people who had seen it, critics, obviously the major awards shows who ignored the hell out of it, but I mostly wanted to watch it for the costumes and sets, something a director making a 16th century France piece couldn't ignore.

Unfortunately, that was all this movie had to offer. It positively reeked. There was no character development. There was no plot development, probably due to the fact that there wasn't really much of a plot at all. Like most Sofia Copolla films there really isn't a beginning, middle and end. It's just a mash up of random things happening and not particularly interesting things.

The casting was dreadful. Only in a Sofia Copolla movie can the same actor who played Patches O'Houlihan in Dodgeball live out his dream of playing Louis XV, king of France. I dislike Kirsten Dunst in pretty much anything I see her in these days and her complete inability to convey any type of emotional response in a dramatic performance followed through in this movie. Kirsten Dunst only knows how to play one role and that's the role of Kirsten Dunst. She's just boring.

The music...... was....... terrible. It seems like they were trying to be a little too Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet-ish and couldn't even pull it half off. The modern songs were horrifically suited for the time period and unlike those from the R+J soundtrack, were not worth listening to even if they weren't forced upon you in this movie.

It's slightly redeeming quality and the reason why I rented it in the first place? The costumes were spectacular. Absolutely fantastic. But is it enough to justify watching the whole thing? Not really. If you want to see beautiful 16th century costumes with a rich plot and interesting characters played by good actors, watch Dangerous Liasons.

The entertainment industry needs to stop this. They need to stop giving people credit because of who they are related to. In the business world it is a well known fact that second generation business owners have only a 1 in 3 chance of actually not running a family business into the ground. Third generation has even less. So why do they let the daughter of Francis Ford make movies? Because she got lucky with Lost in Translation? Great. Now we have to endure stinker after stinker until these movie companies realize she's a one trick pony. Booo! Three Gigli heads.

*Click here for more info on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system.

Hit it...

The top 20 movie mentors.

"Wiki" earns its colours.

The Best (Worst) Fantasy & Science Fiction Book Covers.

The evolution of the computer mouse. 45 years of pointing devices.

Sand castle explosions..... in reverse! [VIDEO]

St. Patrick's Day Special Link Roll

2007-03-16T11:33:00.000-03:00

St. Patrick's Day exposed.

Random beer name generator.

Find an Irish pub near you tonight.

Speeders beware of "Deputy Leprechaun".

Snake Off: St. Patrick vs. Samuel L. Jackson.

St. Fatty's Day

2007-03-16T10:47:00.000-03:00

So it seems that everyone has something to do for St Patrick's Day, which happens to be tomorrow night. Now I myself used to be quite the St. Patrick's Day enthusiast. I'll never forget one St. Patty's Day in particular where myself and Erin Consella joined by random people throughout the day started drinking at about 12 in the afternoon and pretty much had at 'er until well into the evening . I don't remember much about the day except that being drunk made me very good at pool..... or maybe I just thought I was good at pool.

Anyways, this year I plan on doing absolutely nothing for the holiday. Chris has to work at 4 until god knows when (making a killing so we can get lobsters on Sunday) so I get the place to myself for the night for some quality time with myself. I think I'll get a junky movie that only I want to see, like Marie Antoinette, and just pig out on popcorn and candy.

I'm actually really looking forward to it. No sweaty bar hogs, no beer that makes your lips turn green, no one yelling at me for the simple fact that I just don't carry any green in my wardrobe (it's not a good colour on me!) Just me, my trashy movie, and some junk. Happy St. Fatty's Day!

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Pearl Jam's Jeremy - The story behind the song.

Some crude St. Patrick's Day cards.

See if your favorite website is banned in China. FYI, TSD isn't!

How Nintendo composed the most annoyingly catchy tunes ever.

This is about as good of an idea as the Geico cavemen getting their own reality show.

Trapped in a Law Suit

2007-03-15T10:24:00.000-03:00

Unless you're living under a rock, you'll know by now that media giant Viacom is suing the knickers off of YouTube for...... *Dr. Evil-esque voiceover* One Billion Dollars!

Basically speaking, the licensing talks that Viacom was engaged in with YouTube didn't look like they were gonna pay off for Viacom, so they went what we know now as "The American Way" aka, a heavy duty law suit. Claiming copyright infringement and all that jazz Viacom says Google isn't doing enough to remove their content from YouTube.

Viacom owns a number of well recognized brands such as BET, CMT, Comedy Central, DreamWorks, MTV, Nickelodeon, Paramount Pictures, and VH1. While I don't expect this law suit to really go anywhere, you never know what can happen given the American justice system! So, here it is. The Tom Cruise "Trapped in the Closet" South Park episode. Watch it while you still can!

Dammit! They already got to it! Damn you Viacom!!!

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Internet smilies and what they mean. This gets a little ridiculous after awhile.

Where in the Hell is Matt: Dancing Outtakes. [VIDEO]

Life-sized pic of a blue whale. [PIC]

TKO on a seagull. [VIDEO]

New species of shit leopard found in Borneo. Mr. Lahey still determining whether or not it can change its shit spots.

Bustin' Out

2007-03-14T12:53:00.000-03:00

Really busy today so I have to be quick. Day 2 of my self-imposed "diet" and I think I'm already doing well. Talking to Mike yesterday I kinda figured that I can achieve my goal simply by cutting out my after-supper eating during weekdays. I would say I consume between 400-600 calories every weekday between supper time and the time I go to bed which means I can cut a good 2000-3000 calories out per week. That should def be enough to drop a pound a week. Nothing to it right?...... RIGHT?!!! Dear god I want a Big Mac.

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Some pretty sick looking subway platforms. [PICS]

20 of the worst cover songs in pop music history.

Worth1000 has hilarious political drag!

Why is only hot teachers who have sex with their students?

What's funnier than Bill Clinton playing Dance Dance Revolution? Not much. [VIDEO]

10 Pounds in 10 Weeks

2007-03-13T09:50:00.000-03:00

So Angela's wedding is in a little over a month and my bridesmaids dress is still a little snug..... and by snug I mean unwearable unless I lose a quick 5-10 pounds. Over the past few weeks, growing increasingly aware of how close the date is getting, I have been mentally trying to get into better eating habits. Unfortch, that has yet to translate into any kind of physical behavior change.

I came home yesterday from work and the first thing I went for was the bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos. In fact, I even fought with Chris for them as he wanted to save them for later in the night. I then had a full pot of clam chowder. Think it stops there? I then went for the Doritos again only to hit an English muffin with Cheez Whiz later on in the evening.

This is a typical day for me if you add on various cookies and what would constitute to most people as a "second supper." Basically, when I'm home, if I'm not eating, I'm sleeping. Neither of which is good if I plan on fitting into that dress.

I think my problem is that I've never really been accountable to anyone except myself so when I say it's ok to eat the large bag of Doritos, there's really no one who's gonna tell me not to. I haven't set goals and even if I did, I'd have to come up with a plan in which to achieve them.

So here's the thing. I am now accountable to YOU. My effort starts right now. Since I work during the day, my eating can be fairly regulated from the hours of 6am to 5pm. Cereal or fruit for breakfast, sandwich and yogurt for lunch. It's that eating in the evenings thing that gets me. I gorge myself as soon as I get home, and that needs to stop in a big way. It's my only problem really. Unfortunatly, according to my hips, it's a big problem.

I will be posting my progress in side notes on my blog. 10 pounds before the end of May. That gives me 8-9 weeks so almost a pound a week. That's totally doable right? So next week I will be posting again and will hopefully have dropped a few by then. Make sure to check back. I'm gonna have a core like Nicole Scherzinger! Mark my words!

Hit it...

30 of the strangest deaths in history.

Cracked has just announced recalls on celebrity endorsed products.

Productdose has some pretty sick belt buckles. [PICS]

Gummi Bear chandelier! [PICS]

Make yourself crazy with jealousy by looking at this slide show of billionaires homes. [PICS]

300 Strong

2007-03-12T09:27:00.000-03:00

Ok. So we went to see 300 last night. We had tossed around the idea of going earlier this week including Thursday for the midnight showing (quickly shot down on account of my having to work on Friday) and also Friday night which was squashed when we found out it kept selling out. We went last night with the hope of scoring some IMAX tickets but we were a bit too late and ended up at just the regular showing. Even a half hour early wasn't early enough for us to get four seats together so we split into twos, popcorn-less due to the large lines.

So with that many people out to see it, it had to be good, right? Damn right. I never thought that an hour and a half of little else but choreographed battle scenes could be so riveting. But that's basically what it was. They wasted no time getting into it but they didn't really need to explain the story much for anyone to realize was was going down. King tries to invade country. King of other country tries to stop him. Simple right? With no beating around the bush they flew right into non-stop action for about 80% of the movie.

The CG effects were pretty good, but not spectacular. They succeeded in making everything look cool but not to the point where you're like "Oh my gawd! That was sick!" but the fact that they shot pretty much everything against a blue screen gave them a lot to work with and it was aesthetically pleasing overall. Kinda like Sin City which was a great way to go when it came to trying to bring something like a graphic novel to the screen. It has some of the best cinematography I've ever seen in a film and it's a true attest to the claim that everything looks better in slow-mo. The battles were meticulously organized, beautifully filmed and edited, and never get boring.

The acting? Decent, although it seems that most of the characters playing soldiers had only one tone of voice, and that was yelling. It's kinda hard to fuck up yelling. I was jazzed to see the guy that played Faramir in LOTR in another ranking soldier role and whooping a little ass. I was also surprised to see the guy that plays McNulty on The Wire (even though I didn't even know it was him until Mike pointed it out.) Additional CG effects aside, these guys were all in incredible shape for this film. They all look like the marble status of ancient Greeks brought to life and don't think you won't like the movie if you're a chick.

Overall, I'm damn glad I went to see this movie but I'm not disappointed I didn't get to see it in the IMAX. I doubt it would have made much of a difference except in a few select scenes. I didn't know what to think of this movie when I first saw the trailers thinking it just wouldn't be able to deliver on anything else beyond some over-produced battle scenes, but it turned out that the over-produced battle scenes were the movie and looked so damn cool that the lack of anything else was kind of irrelevant. Two Rings of Power!

*Click here for details on The Snowy Driveway movie rating system*

Hit it...

Some good advice on picking up, straight from a bartender.

The sweet 16 of shame in the NCAA.

These cars will get you laid.... twice. [PICS]

Pilobolus Theater silhouettes are pretty effing sick. [VIDEO]

Rejected army recruitment ads.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-03-10T16:13:00.000-04:00

Skin burn tattoos are just nasty. Warning: a little ick.

It's not Heroes, it's Zeroes [VIDEO]

When they were young: Supervillain science projects.

Wanna drive like Jack Bauer? Of course you do. [GAME]

Gallery: famous fake photos.

Giant inflatable colon? [PIC]

The majority of American youth “are morally, intellectually or physically” unfit for service in their military. Given some of despicable Youtubed footage circulated I'd venture a guess that they're letting them in anyway.

Premature Evacuation

2007-03-09T08:27:00.000-04:00

It's sad day in Halifax today. Yesterday it was announced that Halifax's bid for the 2014 Commonwealth Games would come with a price tag of $1.7 billion. As a result, the prospect of hosting the games here had the rug pulled out from under it by the city and the province.

While I agree that the cost (which is three times the initial estimates made in 2005) is relatively steep, I'm pretty disappointed with both the Halifax municipal government as well as the premiere's office who have had little more than a defeatist attitude towards this for quite some time and who continue to perpetuate pessimism by quoting to the idea that Halifax just can't accommodate an event of that nature.

Halifax and Nova Scotia have been sold pretty short by the government it hired to represent them. Peter Kelly has been nothing short of a skeptical nay-sayer. His vision is thinning faster than his hair and the word "leadership" is about as foreign to him as antidisestablishmentarianism. (It's a word!) The rest of the government has been too concerned about going to the federals with their hands out. If working in the not-for-profit industry for three years back when I was a student taught me anything, it's that you should never be too proud to beg.

The decision to shut the bid process down was done not only without the bid committee being given the opportunity to work on a viable plan, but was also done without the consultation of the city council. It seems to me that some people were in such a hurry to shoot this one dead in the water that it didn't even occur to them to go through proper channels in which to do so.

Anyways, the opportunity to put Halifax at the forefront on an international stage has been hastily squashed and my thoughts are that our chances of getting another opportunity anytime soon are grim at best. The tax penny-counters' argument was that this was just too pricey for a sporting event. They're right. It is a hell of a lot of money for a sporting event. However, it's a drop in the pot for international publicity, tourism prospects and economic expansion in the long term, which are unfortunately hard to gauge in a cost-benefit analysis but significantly important nonetheless.

So once again we're back to being a second-rate city who's biggest spectacle has been a visit by the Rolling Stones; a second-rate honour if you ask me that we obviously share with hundreds of other cities internationally. In order to make light of this unfortunate situation I'd like to quote a headline in today's Chronicle Herald:

Councillor says pullout 'premature evacuation.'

OMFG LOL! If that's not the most hilarious headline ever, I'm not sure what is. I'm going to send it in to Leno. At least that way we might get some form of international publicity out of this whole kafuffle.

* No links today, sorry. Tons tomorrow though!

DSU Blind Faith

2007-03-08T09:47:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year once again. The Dalhousie Student Union is holding it's annual general elections. Frankly, I wouldn't even know they were going on if I didn't peek in at MikeSmit.com every once and awhile to get my latest TurnItIn.com investigative report (that shit is riveting!) but I am at least a little curious to see the new batch of overachieving resume builders, social acceptance cravers, and of course the poor people who genuinely want to be effective change agents only to get into the position and realize it wasn't built that way. (They don't tell you that while you're running.)

Now, over the past year or two, my viewership has become more and more dominated by those of the Newfie type. Now don't get me wrong. I love it that The Driveway had gotten so hot in Newfoundland. But I feel a need to bring some Halifax/NS content in every once and awhile, especially for the students at my old stomping ground. So here's what I'm going to do for a larf. I'm going to pick one candidate from each position running at random. I am then going to proceed to endorse the hell out of that candidate for the entire campaign week. Will it get them elected? Probably not. But this is the first year that I don't know any of the candidates (save one) and blindly endorsing random people just for the hell of it is hilarious.

So lets get to it. I do know one candidate in the VP Internal race so I won't be picking there. Even though I'm technically not a campaign worker for this person, this is the kinda shit the elections committee gets their huggies in a bunch about every year and I don't wanna touch that with a ten foot pole. On to the others...

DSU President
Jason Pelley
Mike Tipping

Um, hel-lo! This one is a no-brainer. As far as I know I don't have any relatives on my father's side in Nova Scotia but that doesn't change the fact that you should vote for Jason Pelley simply because this bitch is a PELLEY! And Pelley's are obvs totally awesome people.

VP Education
Tara Gault
Amanda Myers

Hmmm, two chicks. *flips coin*. Tara Gault looks good to me.

Vice President Student Life
Andrew Cook
McCollins Jones
Courtney Larkin
Robert Panahi

McCollins Jones has the greatest name ever rivaled only by Jay Crewe who was a campaigner a few years back. This guy sounds like a Simpsons character so you should vote for him.

Undergraduate Senate Representative
Victoria Jones
Jordan Roberts
Justin LoRusso
Eric Snow
Christian Tschirhart

I gotta represent here with the ladies. That's right, I'm sexist. Go Victoria!

Graduate Senate Representative
Tracy Voegeli

Yea sure. Vote for her.

Board of Governors
Daniel Boyle
Gregory Debogorski
Tyler Dennis
David Russell
Shannon Zimmerman

Gregory Debogorski is the kinda name that seems to roll off the tongue. "Three cheers for Gregory Debogorski! Impeach Gregory Debogorski! Gregory Debogroski is the father!" Yea, it just rolls right off the tongue man. Vote for him

The DAGS candidates are both running unopposed so I guess you should vote for them. Voting no might be bad for their self-esteem and make them angry and depressed. Angry and depressed grad students are a force to be reckoned with. They're loose canons and you never know what they might do. I know. I was one of them. During my semi-nervous breakdown in 2004 I probably would have killed your dog if provoked.

So yea. If you are a Dalhousie student who plans to vote in this election (probably a meager 15% of you) but don't really give a damn about the outcome (probably 95% of that 15%) then you should vote for my picks. Why? For no good reason whatsoever other than the fact that I had nothing else to blog about today. Good luck to the candidates!

* No links today. Sorry.

Dr. Doom!

2007-03-07T15:04:00.000-04:00

Not much time to write anything today. I'm up to my eyeballs after taking a sick day on Monday but a buddy of mine sent me this quiz a few weeks ago to see which Supervillain you are and I thought I'd post my results here. I think I may have taken this one before and gotten different results, but Dr. Doom? I think the "blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity" description fits me to a tee.

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom		61%
Lex Luthor		58%
Apocalypse		57%
Poison Ivy		56%
Catwoman		52%
Dark Phoenix		50%
The Joker		47%
Juggernaut		44%
Mystique		44%
Riddler		44%
Magneto		42%
Venom		39%
Kingpin		38%
Mr. Freeze		37%
Green Goblin		36%
Two-Face		28%

Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Hit it...

Just when you thought bubble wrap couldn't get any more awesome.

The 5 worst comedies of all time. I disagree with #1 even making the list.

Highest paying jobs that don't require a university degree.

Ha ha ha. Geekiest eraser ever!

Good news: Campaign Red raises $18 million for AIDS. Bad news: they spent $100 million on the marketing budget. Long story short: $82 million was spent on giving celebrities an outlet to pretend they care.

Applebees = AppleFs

2007-03-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

So let me tell you a little story about our supper last night. Drew is in for the week on Spring Break so we thought we'd all go out to a nice spot to eat on a Sunday. That was our first mistake. Apparently at supper time on Sunday all the good places have waiting lines longer than a portable loo at Woodstock. We tried Montana's. Crazy wait. Then Jack Astor's. Not much better. After tossing around a few more places in our minds we decided upon Applebee's. I know right, but there were really few other options.

We get seated right away but that was pretty much the only satisfactory thing that happened all night. We waited about 20 minutes for our drinks which were served only AFTER one of our appetizers. Who wants an appetizer when there's nothing to wash it down with?

Then they brought out our nachos and I honestly can't see how these damn things even qualified as nachos. They were covered in lettuce and little else. Hardly any cheese at all and I guess it isn't Applebee's policy to serve nachos with salsa because we actually had to ask for it. Some of the chips were burned on the edges.

Time for the main course, which of course gets brought to us before we get to see any cutlery whatsoever. Had to ask for that too. So we start to munch. First of all, the fact that the only thing appealing to me on the menu was a grilled chicken ceasar says something in itself. What makes matters worse is that it was one of the worst grilled chicken ceasars I've ever had. The chicken was burned to pieces and there was more god damned cheese on it than on the nachos. So much in fact that I had to stop eating it after only a few bites because it was no rich.

Then there was Chris' steak. The thing was practically still mooing on the plate. The interior of it looked like it hadn't seen one tiny bit of cookage. He had to send it back for a little more fire. When it was brought back it was still fairly undercooked but we didn't have time to notice because our waitress was still fighting for her tip so bad it was shameless. She went on and on about how she just got back from vacation and can't wait to go on vacation again. Nice to know how much she enjoyed serving us. Then she starts emphasizing how much she realizes that our experience sucked there. As if we needed a reminder.

When our bills were finally brought out she said that she told her manager to do something for us since we had such a shitty time. That fucker thought that kicking the shitty nachos from the bill would be enough. Good...... lord.

Anyways, under normal circumstances I might write a lengthy complaint letter to the management in the hopes of getting a free meal out of it all, but in this case I don't want another meal at Applebee's because it would probably be served to me slowly and poorly. The lesson to this story? DO NOT eat at Applebee's in Bayers Lake and if you do........ no, I have nothing witty to say. Just don't ever eat there.

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How to argue effectively.

Videos of people getting the shit scared out of them is hilarious.

Practical baby books.

The best of the gadget lab.

Army officials fear Prince Harry will be paraded on television if he is kidnapped in Iraq. They should probably fear more than Prince Harry will be kidnapped in Iraq.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-03-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

Do it yourself crotch bulges.

OMFG LOL! I'm so trying these.

This Tamandua is a total ninja. [VIDEO]

Al Gore isn't as green as his image.

The producers of Lost continue to dick their viewership around.

Victoria's Secret models are so hot, I want to punch them in the face.

For the ladies: pics of Matt McConoughey on the set of his new flick Surfer Dude!

American Double Standard

2007-03-02T13:08:00.000-04:00

I was going to start this post a lot differently but when I actually had time to think about what I was going to say, I started going in a completely different direction.

Basically I was going to touch on the recent American Idol controversy. Whether you follow the show or not (I personally don't) you're probably aware of the racy photos that have surfaced of contestant Antonella Barba. I'm not going to post the pics here (you can view them here if you choose) but they basically depict the wannabe idol in many hoochie poses including, but not limited to, spreading eagle while straddling a basketball, underage drinking, dropping trou at a World War II memorial, giving random BJs, giving random tittie grabs, and dropping a deuce on the can.

At first I thought just another AI scandal right? But then I saw on the news that not only is Antonella allowed to stay in the competition, but the AI judges actually support her stay. Simon Cowell was quoted as saying that the photos should not affect her standing in the show and that "These people haven't done anything illegal; that's their private life." Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe also said her fate would rest in the voters hands.

Now wait just a minute. Aren't these the same people who booted (potential winner) Frenchie Davis a few years back during an earlier season? Not just booted her, but basically erased any indication that she was ever even on the show from their website and promotional materials after it was discovered that she had posed for nude photos to get money to put herself through theater school. She was bounced faster than the producers could say "A fat girl can't win American Idol." (We all know that's what it was about.)

So what the hell is going on now? Is it a double standard or has Paris Hilton's slutty shenanigans changed the face of what is now deemed acceptable behavior for so called "Idols" in America. This show just seems to get cheaper by the season. Remember when Maury Povich used to do educational programs but now all he does is baby-daddy drama? Yea, it's kinda like that.

Frankly, I think Antonella is the American Idol. She epitomizes everything young America is striving for. Getting famous in a hurry by spreading her legs for the camera then trying to fake a clean image once she gets there. America will vote for this ho like there's no tomorrow. Who's going to relate to her? How about the hundreds of thousands of MissAmerica_15's on MySpace who only wish their crotch shots might get noticed? Ryan Seacrest was even quoted on the scandal as saying...

"If American Idol is a true representation of American youth, we're going to find imperfections. And it's OK to be imperfect."

Apparently it's OK to be an attention-whoring, drunk, filthy slut as well. Maybe that wasn't the youth of America four years ago when Frenchie auditioned but sure as hell is now. Land of the free. Home of the brave. Sanctuary of the slutty. It at least makes for good TV.

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How to make a tinfoil hat.

Redneck snowman. [PIC]

Top 25 crimes of the century.

What's weirder than the human slinky? Not much, believe me. [VIDEO]

Cracked has Dick Cheney - A history of violence.

DWTS - The New Batch

2007-03-01T09:26:00.000-04:00

So the new batch of Dancing With The Stars contestants has been released and I must say, I'm a little disappointed by the selection.

Laila Ali - daughter of Mohammed Ali. Little else to her credit.
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky country crooner/actor
Clyde Drexler - Former NBA star
Joey Fatone - former N*Sync member no one cared about
Shandi Finnessey - former Miss USA. Lingo chick.
Leeza Gibbons - former Entertainment Tonight host.
Heather Mills - professional bitch (aka former Mrs. Paul McCartney)
Apolo Anton Ohno - former Olympic champion
Paulina Porizcove - Who?!
Steve Sanders from Beverly Hills 90210

Yea so, pretty lame and boring eh?........ wai........ wha?!...... Steve Sanders?! OMFG! Steve Sanders is going to be on Dancing With The Stars! I am watching this shit every week for sure. If Steve Sanders can bring to DWTS what he brought to West Beverly High School, which was pretty much outrageous flirting and crazy hijinks (awesome!), then you can bet it's gonna be entertaining as fuck. I wanna see him dance while hitting on his partner, misplacing his corvette after a night of partying, managing a budding rap star, and breaking into the school's computer.

In case you haven't noticed, a significant amount of DWTS contestants have the word "former" before their description of what you would best know them for. However, the only time "former" is a good thing is when it comes before "Beverly Hills 90210 cast member!" I would like to officially start a "Steve Sanders for Dancing With The Stars Champion" Campaign!

Rock out Steve!!

See Steve Sanders kick some washed-up wannabe celebrity ass on the season premiere of Dancing With The Stars Monday, March 19th. Go Steve!

* Note: Steve Sanders name is actually Ian Ziering but that's irrelevant because he is Steve Sanders.

Emineminem

2007-02-28T09:45:00.000-04:00

I can't tell you how big a fan I am of well produced online marketing campaigns. The Scissor Sisters had a great one a few months ago with their Make Your Own Dance Character game to promote their new single, I Don't Feel Like Dancing, which I personally spent hours on. Then there was the Snakes on a Plane customized Samuel L. Jackson phone message which I punked a good many people with. Online viral marketing has certainly come a long way since the Blair Witch Blitz back in 1998.

Sunday night when I was watching the Oscars, they began to promote the "Become an M&M" campaign from Hershey. I made a mental note to check it out at BecomeAnMM.com. Yesterday, at the risk of wasting a significant amount of time, I went to have a looksy.

They have a great website set up with an easy to use interface. Not only can you create an image of your likeness as an M&M but you can stage photos with it and also use it as a character in a few neat arcade-style games.

So go check it out yourself at BecomeAnMM.com and see how you might look as a scrumptious candy-coated piece of chocolate. Check out how I would look...

Sexy eh?

Hit it...

Best cereal commercials ever. [VIDEO]

Sex Off! Women of the '70s vs. today.

Guerilla Lighting.

Pics from this year's ComicCon in New York.

Ode to the extra life.

Stop! Fashion Police!

2007-02-26T11:06:00.000-04:00

Woo hoo! Oscar Fashion Police Snowy Driveway style! I've decided to go a little different route this time. Since no one ever gives a damn about what the guys are wearing (there's really only so many ways you can put a jacket and tie together) I thought I'd just give a few little comments without the full-fledged praise or ridicule and then concentrate on the ladies. First thing's first though....

I was watching a pre-Oscar show on Sunday and one of the "experts" they had on hit the nail on the head. Leonardo DiCaprio always looks like a 13 year old kid trying to play a grown up. This is typical for his red carpet appearances too. Even greased up hair like Hannibal Lecter couldn't mask his baby face on Sunday night.

And speaking of hair, Jack Nicholson didn't have any! Dude was bald! Or at least I think that was him. I don't know of any other bald celebrities who are famous enough to have a seat that close to the stage and look like Jack Nicholson to boot. I don't think this look really works for Jack. I hope it's for a role.

Mark Wahlberg looked great in a classic tux as did Ryan Gossling and ~~US President~~ Al Gore. If I had my way I'd just dress every guy there in a classic tux. It's always wise for the men to not get risky. When they do they usually just end up looking like they have a bad relationship with their mother.

Ok, on to the real fashion. We, of course, start with the eye-bleeders:

A world of "NO!" Never, and I mean never ever, is leopard print acceptable in any shape or form except underwear or at the beach. Kelly Preston decides to wear it to her industry's most important night of the year. Maybe if I were doing commercials for wrinkle cream I'd be trying to recapture a little youth myself but I find when 40+ former starlets try to do it they wind up looking like they should be walking Hollywood Boulevard instead of the red carpet.

Bawk! Bawk! I honestly can't imagine how many birds had to die so that Penelope Cruz could have an Oscar dress this year. What is Hollywood's obsession with wild fowl on the red carpet? Better question, if by some fluke she had won (the Academy can't be trusted!) is this really the dress she would want to be wearing in lingering photographs for years to come? It's like the colored braces you thought were hot shit in grade 10 but now you won't show your yearbook to anyone. The saddest thing about this dress is that it's one of the most beautiful I've ever seen.... from the waist up. Unfortunately the rest of the way down she looks like a feather duster. Granted it's not half as bad as....

Kirsten Dunst's stylist obviously hates her ass. She always looks like she's been dressed by a blind person with a brain injury. There is nothing flattering about this at all, least of all the ostrich plumage at the hemline. (Why!) What was she even doing there? Her only movie this year tanked miserably. Ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Let's get to the sexy ladies before I lose my breakfast.

I really didn't like this dress when I first saw it. My eyes were too drawn to the beaded sash which is a little opulent and definitely shouldn't be the selling point. But when I stepped back and had a look at it, it started to grow on me. The mint green color is nice and works for Beyonce's skin tone. The bead work also looks nice against the dress material. The shoulder part of the sash is kinda fug but I was just happy to see Beyonce in something that didn't scream "Look at me! Look at me!"

Celine is another I was impressed with simply because she deviated away from her usual red carpet choices which, in her case, are always train wrecks wrapped in burn accidents with a side of natural disasters. The design is simple and the green fit in with the theme of colour for the night. It suited her height and the brooch on the hip ads enough character so it doesn't risk looking boring.

My fave dressed of the night was hands down, Helen Mirren. Bitch looked hot as balls. I hate it when older actresses think that after 40 your only options are mumu or paper bag, or some horrifying combination of both. In this dress she was putting 20-somethings on the red carpet to shame. It was appropriately formal, had a daring but suitable neckline, and made her stand out among the sea of colours. Very age-appropriate and something you'd want to be seen winning in, which is good, because she did!

All in all, I thought this year's Oscar red carpet left a little to be desired. The best were good, but not great and the worst were bad, but definitely could have passed as acceptable if Cher or Bjork had attended. My guess is they all will occupy the smallest of space in the back of our minds much like most of the films nominated this year. A little boring all around.

Hit it...

The top 500 images on the internet. [PICS]

ThinkGeek has an R2D2 trash can.

Jen Stark's paper art. [PICS]

11 dead, 100 injured after kite flying festival..... wait, WHAT?!

Variations of the notorious femullet. [PICS]

Superstar Weekend

2007-02-26T10:35:00.000-04:00

So we had a moderately relaxing weekend. Aside from a fair bit of driving around, we did manage to have a great time taking in the play as well as a movie I've been dying to see for months, Happy Feet!

I truly love Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals and was pretty jazzed to see Jesus Christ Superstar in particular because I had yet to see an actual performance of it, despite the fact that I know most of the songs. It's also really surprising to see what 15-18 year-olds can do when given just a little theater and musical training. The performances were very impressive considering their age and the vocals in particular were pretty good.

I kinda thought some of the audio people should have been fired only because there were times when the orchestra overwhelmingly overpowered the vocal performances. If I didn't already know a lot of the songs I probably would have known a whole lot about what was going on. Oh yea, and if I didn't have the Bible shoved down my throat as a kid in Catholic school.

We stayed at the Old Orchard Inn in Wolfville which was actually a pretty nice place, It lived up to its portrayal on its website but there was one little things that kinda bugged us about it. We had a room in the smoking section which was at the furthest end of the hotel. After we checked in and got our stuff settled away, we decided to go for a dip in the pool. Only after we had exited our section on the way to the pool did we come into the non-smoking section and actually noted the significant contrast between the two.

Turns out, our section was a deep dark dungeon compared to the angelic non-smoking section. It was as if you could hear the gospel choirs amidst the overly bright lights and lemon-scented air as we opened the door. Where's the justice y'all? Kick me out of your restaurants, fine, but I don't think I should be discriminated in this kinda of a way just because I smoke. Brutal.

Additionally, when we went to crack open a bottle of wine that night to have while watching Happy Feet (awesome by the way!) we discovered that the only available "glasses" were plastic and styrofoam cups in the bathroom! This wasn't the god damned Roach Motel. Everything else seemed very high budget, but for reason they went soft on the glasses. What gives? Anyways.

I also wanted to just comment briefly on a social situation that many of us find ourselves in at least once a year: being in a hot tub with people you don't know. This is probably one of the most socially awkward situations to be in. They're usually sitting directly across from you so there's few places to look not to mention the fact that they're practically naked. Plus if they're getting in after you have, you know they're not going anywhere for awhile.

Me and Chris found ourselves in this exact situation on Saturday and I think we handled it the way anyone would. We didn't bolt immediately but made a quick comment about how we hadn't been in the pool yet not two minutes after they got in. We were outta there pretty quick to avoid any further discomfort.

Anyways, tune in tomorrow for the Oscar fashion run down. No one showed up in a stuffed swan or a ballerina tutu this year so picking some of the worst dressed was a little difficult..... but not TOO difficult :-)

Hit it...

Why the Super Mario Bros movie is an under-appreciated masterpiece.

The 7 most insane moments from cable access TV.

Giant Microbes now have "The Clap."

Some fun facts about the Oscars.

Reviewing the presidential campaign websites.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-02-25T16:40:00.000-04:00

The Cracked 2007 Oscar rundown.

Jim Carrey aint got nothin' on The Number 24. [VIDEO]

A list of famous smokers who show smoking is cool.

This game is HARD! [GAME]

Ask Buddha Britney.

The Oscar producers have some new strats to keep those acceptance speeches short, didn't realize last year that a free TV means nothing to the filthy stinking rich who are only getting richer because they just won an Academy Award.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-02-24T09:05:00.000-04:00

Me and Chris are heading out on a little romantic getaway in the valley today so tomorrow's link post might be a little late coming. We have tickets to see Jesus Christ Superstar tonight and then we'll be staying at the Old Orchard Inn until we drive back tomorrow afternoon. In the meantime, enjoy today's links!

Hit it...

10 things the gaming industry won't tell you. Pay attention Li.

The truth behind Oscar acceptance speeches.

Top 10 most misunderstood movies ever made.

No one wants to get stabbed over toaster strudel.

Photoshop contest: Bald Britney Spears. [PICS]

The Unthinkable

2007-02-23T08:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I haven't updated in about three days. The truth is that I've been bulldozed at work and while I can usually find a little time on my lunch break to blog, I really haven't had a solid opportunity at all this week. What makes things worse is that yesterday, Milo was playing around my computer at home and totally fried the damn thing with his static. At the very least the motherboard is completely done for. It remains to be seen about the actual hard drive but it's not looking good which is pretty devastating considering every photo I've taken for the past three years is on that hard drive as well as everything I have ever written in my entire university career.

With my computer out at home and little time at work I'm not really sure how often I'm going to be able to update which made me wonder yesterday about doing what was once unthinkable and shutting the Driveway down. Don't panic yet though. I haven't really come to a decision and when I do it will be after a lot of thought. This website has been my baby for the past four years and it would kill me to see it come to just sitting in internet purgatory. In the meantime I'll try and update when I can and kind play it by ear for the next week or so.

Hit it...

The Cracked guide on how to win an Oscar.

Beatbox flute! [VIDEO]

Computer Shutdown Day? I'm way ahead of you.

Pass a drug test using household items....... drugs are bad, mmmkay?

This is low but too hilarious to pass up: Create an image of yourself with Anna Nicole Smith to bolster your paternity claim.

Drugs For Women

2007-02-20T12:20:00.000-04:00

Another cop out day. Sorry. But a friend at work sent me this the other day and I thought it was pretty funny. For the ladies at least.

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person."

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

Hit it...

Star Wars Mah-nah-mah-nah. [VIDEO]

How well do you know The Silence of the Lambs? I got 17/25. [QUIZ]

The world's strangest dinosaur names.

Mario-themed lego art.

Wanna see Paris Hilton get pelted with trash in Italy? Of course you do. [VIDEO]

Ghosts of the White House

2007-02-19T08:37:00.000-04:00

How about a little zinger on a Monday morning....

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what''s the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away...

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

Bush isn''t sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."

Hit it...

How Fox news might have responded to the Revoluntionary War.

Kids drawings interpreted by professional artists.

The top 10 most luxurious spas in the world.

Top 100 vanity license plates.

Kim Mathers says Eminem has a small one. We never would have guessed from the immature antics, delusions of grandeur and pre-pubescent voice.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-02-18T09:33:00.000-04:00

American Idol rejection kit. Psyche! Edition.

Worth1000 has celebrity mini-me.

Just for the hell of it, William Shatner eating pudding. [VIDEO]

Songs that remind us of movies.

Donald Trump sinks to an all time publicity whoring low.

Radical radiators of the future.

Pardon Me While I Burn In Hell

2007-02-17T09:33:00.000-04:00

So I had been planning for a few days now to go out for my friend's birthday last night. I was pretty jazzed for a night out of the apartment with some peeps I hadn't seen in a little while. I was feeling a little tired after work so I thought some McDonalds might wake me up a bit. After supper I felt pretty full so I decided to lay down for just a sec. Boom! Out like a light. At 7:30 in the evening.

What seemed like only minutes later I opened my eyes. Chris is no where to be found and the show on TV doesn't really look like early evening programming. I look at my watch. 12:10am!? FACCCCKKK!!! I run around the apartment looking for Chris. He's passed out in the bedroom.

So there we are. Two old farts who can't even stay awake on a Friday night. I don't know whether to laugh or cry..... too late, I'm already crying, because it's only funny when I don't miss important things. Excuse me while I go burn in hell.

Hit it...

Um, I think Britters shaved her head y'all.

Another addictive game. My best? 120. [GAME]

Britney should go for this look, just add Cheetos. [PICS]

Wii is the greatest thing to ever happen to fat American kids.

This will fuck with your head on a Saturday.

Top sexy women - hip hop models.

Tim Hardaway talks about hating gay people as if people care about what he says anymore.

Snow No Go

2007-02-16T09:21:00.000-04:00

Remember snow days when you were a kid? So do I, or moreso the lack thereof. Unless it would require snowshoes or skies to get home on the streets, you could pretty much be assured that you were damn well going to school. When our grandparents told us stories about having to trek through 5 miles of powder to get to school everyday, they weren't kidding. They wouldn't close that shit for the Pope, and I went to a Catholic school so you can imagine the magnitude of that fact.

Wednesday and Thursday schools were canceled in the Halifax regional area in anticipation of what was supposed to be crippling weather. After supper Wednesday night we had a little wind. Yesterday it was kinda wet in the morning but it tapered off and we actually had some sun in the afternoon.

So, two days of school lost and for what? The best damn two days of these kids lives? The only thing better than a snow day is to be able to comfortably walk to the mall on that snow day. I highly doubt the school board felt that our youth deserved some much needed fun so what's the problem here?

I'll tell you what it is. We're living in a panic state. At first I thought it was just the United States scared shitless of terrorists, weather, and oftentimes their own shadow. Now that attitude seems to have permeated it's way into the north. There's storms in Ontario! Panic! There might be snow in Halifax! Panic!

Everyone just needs to simmah here. Have a brewskie and just calm the hell down. The only thing more dangerous than a little weather, is thousands of pre-teens running amok on the street while their parents are all at work. Not to mention the fact that if you give these little bastards an inch, they'll stomp all over your ass. What happens the next time we get a little downpour, or the air conditioning breaks in May? They'll never forget that time you thought there might be snow.

Hit it...

A list of unusual deaths.

Beyonce is looking mighty fine in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

Little known facts about the founding fathers.

Fruit sculptures!

Going to Russia anytime soon? Might not want to get in a car there. [VIDEO]

Fug at the Grammys

2007-02-15T06:44:00.000-04:00

Ok, real quick best and worst dressed at the Grammy's. I didn't watch much of the show and what I saw was lame. Only the Grammy's could take a performance by John Legend, Corinne Bailey Rae and John Mayer and turn it into channel-change boredom. Anyways, on with the show. Let's start with the worst dressed men...

John Mayer. This guy is lucky he can sing, even though it tends to look like he's dropping a deuce when he's doing so. Some guys (Denzel) can pull off the bow tie. John makes me want to tighten it around his neck to keep him from making any more racial slurs.

This breaks my heart because I love Seal, but when your wife is Heidi Klum (who happens to make a living out of telling people what looks good and what doesn't) you just can't show up in what I can only guess to be a pleather jacket and mis-matched shoes that look like slippers.

Ruh roh! Someone forgot to tell Chris Brown that the 1920's gangster look has been so overdone by Usher that no one thinks it's cool anymore. Poor Chris. Jumping on the bandwagon as it's pulling out of town.

And on to the fugly ladies...

Two words: transvestite hooker. Nothing says it better than sequins and lace. Thanks Hil.

Beyonce never fails to wear something that makes her look like she's trying way too hard. Plus, she seems to be channeling Charlize Theron's ugly bow dress from last year's Oscars. Remember that nightmare?

Whoa Nelly! Bjork called. She wants her 2001 Oscar look back and the negative reviews with it. I guess the army of people who have been hired for Nelly's image makeover aren't being paid as well as we thought.

Now to the hot people!

Who would have thought you could look classy and laid back at the same time? John Legend pulls it off. I love it that he looks like he was just chilling backstage having some brewskies with the crew and decided to come out for a little pap wave.

I normally don't like it when people stray from black tie for red carpet events but JT pulls off something a little different: the grey suit, and matches the decor!

James Blunt wore the most beautiful thing of all, a stunning Petra Nemcova. He could have come in pajamas and still looked like the man.

And now the ladies...

What can I say? I'm a fan of the long couture gowns. A lot of women opted for knee-length at the Grams but my faves are always the long, flowy gowns. I liked Rhianna's especially because it was an interesting cut and had a little colour amongst the sea of black and metallics.

I also liked Christina's for the hint of colour and the fact that she's keeping it formal. (This isn't MTV y'all!) Plus I like it that she decided to leave all the whore paint at home.

Carrie Underwood looked sooooo good! Definitely the best getup of the night. Absolutely loved it. Classic, low risk,and pretty. Two big greasy American Idol thumbs up.

Hit it..

Gallery of slow-mo video clips. I love this shit! [VIDEOS]

Cool pics of a snow storm rolling into Buffalo. [PICS]

I'm glad I'm not the only one totally freaked out by clowns.

What to expect from sex, as dictated by Internet porn.

Britney Spears finally abandons her seedy lifestyle to be a good mom to her kids....... just kidding. She's getting naked in a low-rent titty bar trading clothes with the strippers.

VD - No, Not That Kind of VD

2007-02-14T10:40:00.000-04:00

Well, it's Valentine's Day y'all, or as some friends of mine like to call it: Singles Awareness Day. Yep, a holiday that I used to loathe with all of my being has crawled it's way up to moderate tolerability and that's mostly thanks to my significant other, the Gomez to my Morticia, Christopher!

Last year I did a really nice post about him (or was it about Couterstrike?) Anyways, I figure I should at least make a valiant effort to top it this year, so this time I've decided to list a crap load of things that I love about Chris...

He makes my lunch for me in the morning if I'm running late for work.

He's very open to things that I like, like the time I made him watch half a dozen anime movies.

He takes care of our bunnies when I'm not home to do it.

He knows better than to buy me jewelry without consulting me first.

He has charmed the socks off my family.

He actually enjoys watching me play video games.

He plays two-player games with me (but I still own him at Mario Kart.)

He doesn't ruin my laundry (anymore.)

He's a good gift buyer (Tifa Lockheart action figure FTW.)

He takes care of me when I fall asleep on the couch, which is pretty much every night. (Takes my earrings out, watch off, hair pins out, jammies on)

He doesn't let me walk outside alone.

He lets me watch pretty much whatever I want on TV (besides Sex and the City and only if Holmes on Homes isn't on.)

But most importantly, he puts up with my shit :-)

Happy Valentines Day y'all!

Hit it...

I-Mockery has this year's batch of sick Valentine's Day cards.

Cracked also has some Valentine's Day cards you wish you thought of.

Pictures of a frozen tidal wave. [PICS]

How to turn your Flickr crush into real romance.

8 diseases that give you super-human powers.

New York vs Newfoundland

2007-02-13T06:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, so the big damn squall in New York is garnering a lot of media coverage. I must say, it's a pretty crazy amount of snow. 11-foot drifts. People's cars and homes getting buried. Totally crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I have only one thing to say about it...

Quit your whining and go back to digging out your local Starbucks before you really have something to panic about.

Hit it...

The greatest pigs in pop culture.

There sure as hell is a thing called rabbit show jumping. [VIDEO]

Illegal job interview questions.

Militant terrorists are all over YouTube.

The Canadian Federation of Students have nothing to fear from my friend Jen, and by nothing I mean everything.

Aqua Teen 24 Force

2007-02-12T06:36:00.000-04:00

This one was just too good to let sit unnoticed in the link roll. What happens when you take two of my favorite shows in the world and mash them into one? You get Jack Bauer interrogating the Aqua Teen Hunger Force!

Oh mercy! I love it! Now all I need to see is the cast of Law and Order SVU as patients on Scrubs, the Deal or No Deal models as contestants on Survivor and the Mythbusters bringing in their junk to Antiques Roadshow. Don't forget to watch 24 tonight y'all! It's a special two hours of Bauer Power!

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Oucharoo! Skating is a dangerous sport y'all. [VIDEO]

So is cheerleading. [VIDEO]

Off the chain oragami. [PICS]

The 10 least romantic love song lyrics.

Crazy-go-nuts UFO sighting on Lake Eerie w/ killer footage shot by a bunch of stoners. [VIDEO]

Sunday Link Roll

2007-02-11T08:40:00.000-04:00

Who has the worst "moobs"? [VOTE]

Mini Cooper desk!

Yet another reason why beer is great.

21 things you didn't know about skin.

Lite Bright music video. [VIDEO]

Your odds of dying. Depressing, I know.

With all due respect, the Breast Cancer Society of Canada might not want to be getting so picky.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-02-10T09:20:00.000-04:00

Maxim has the worst love scenes of all time. Surprisingly, all of my former relationships didn't make the cut.

This is hilariously inappropriate.

Justin Timberlake re-gifts his junk. [VIDEO]

So Anna Nicole Smith is dead. My heart goes out to the barbiturate industry of America

Plastic surgery can be good sometimes.

Radar's top 10 movie stereotypes.

Mel Gibson brings us a little "Where's Waldo?" in Apocolypto which is a lot better than the "Where's Your Sobriety?" he brings us in real life. [VIDEO]

Random Thoughts

2007-02-09T06:56:00.000-04:00

There was nothing of real importance that I felt should have an entire blog post dedicated to it today, so I though that instead of dwelling on just one topic, I'd talk briefly about a few random things :-)

So what about this movie 300. It's kinda up there with Ghost Rider right now in the sense that I really don't know what to think of it. It looks pretty damn cool and you kinda want it to be good, but are you willing to risk $10 (+ concessions) to go see it? and I always like to see historical periods and themes that I've covered be brought to life on screen and the special effects look great but it seems a little dark (literally) and it may just be a poor man's Gladiator. We'll see.

I said a few weeks ago that I was going to start grouping my MSN contacts to give my list a more organized structure between those I talk to and those I don't, those I know and those I don't, etc. I started doing this yesterday and it just got too damned complicated, so I just deleted a hell of a lot of people instead. My list, which used to include over 140, is now down to a manageable 107.

Places that don't normally get bad weather, and then get bad weather are hysterical. Remember when Toronto had that big ice storm back in the day and they called the effing military in? Upstate New York is losing their shizz right now over a little snow to the point where it's getting significant CNN news coverage. Y'all don't know bad weather. Come to Newfoundland. We'll school you on how to deal with bad weather and you might learn how to sing a good song and hold your liquor in the process. Pansies.

The Snowy Driveway was never meant to have large amounts of text on it when it was first conceived of, hence the white text on black background. It's unfortunate that this colour scheme is rather blinding now that I have decided to blog. I'm looking into possible new color schemes and templates. I'm also lazy so don't bank on a change anytime soon.

Free blueberry muffins taste a lot better than ones you pay for.

Well, that's my brain dump for the day. Hopefully I'll have something of value on Monday. Until then, enjoy the weekend links. I managed to find a few good ones lined up for Saturday and Sunday, and today's are good too!

Hit it...

Probably the best collection of case mods I've ever seen. [PICS]

Top magazine covers of the past 40 years.

Kelly Clarkson looks pretty fug without makeup.

Cool toys for adults...... not those kinda toys.

Hiroshima: pictures you haven't seen. [PICS]

Wheel of Fun!

2007-02-08T06:31:00.000-04:00

So I came across this neat little website the other day with all sorts of random message generators from a Vegas strip sign to a highway sign. I thought I'd post it here for you all to have a little fun with, but not before I had some fun of my own first...

Hee hee hee! Make your own customized signs here and be sure to make them rude, crude and dirty!..... instead of self-centered like mine.

Hit it...

What happens when you send money on mail instead of a stamp?

The best collection of fuctional robot pics you'll see all day. [PICS]

Cracked presents the horror behind the comedy.

Actual KFC sign in New York.

Pet moose!

Stomp The Messengers

2007-02-07T07:07:00.000-04:00

Ok, time to bury the Super Bowl. I've been talking about nothing else for a week. Let's move on to something new. Yesterday I put something in the link roll that a lot of people might not have gotten so I thought I'd explain a bit.

The tag was "Another good weekend at the unpredictable box office..." It seems that for the forth week in a row a film, that under normal circumstances would do rather poorly, has wound up being #1. Last month it was Stomp the Yard for two weeks, followed by Epic Movie and now The Messengers. My question is, what are people thinking?

I just don't get why people would go into a theater playing predictable teen flicks and low rent horror films when a movie like Pan's Labyrinth is playing in the theater next to it. Now I understand that some people just want a brainless piece of fluff on the weekend after a hard week of work, but enough to make it #1? It's a sad day when Hollywood can't crank out a filler movie capable of competing with something like Stomp the Yard. Yet another film about troubled kids who find their life's meaning through music and dance. Haven't seen that before, except in...

Save The Last Dance
Center Stage
Footloose
Drumline
Mad Hot Ballroom
Take the Lead
Fame
Step Up
Dirty Dancing

to name a few. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not ragging on people if they went to see Stomp the Yard or The Messengers (I got no love for anyone who went to see Epic Movie considering the foul reek of Date Movie,) I'm just more disappointed in the lack of alternatives. Honestly, with the exception of Pan's Labyrinth there doesn't really seem to be much else to offer at the theater the past few weeks. I guess I'm just gonna have to hold my breath and wait patiently for Norbit. Ha ha ha. Just kidding.

Hit it...

Chuck Norris commercial. [VIDEO]

Drinks that are dead.

Zombie vs. Shark. [VIDEO]

Austrailian eagles will fuck you up.

Britney Spears really wants you to now that she fits into an extra small dress. Of course those are probably based on hippo sizes.

This Year's Super Bowl Ads

2007-02-06T06:54:00.000-04:00

I know I ragged on this year's Super Bowl ads yesterday, but I did want to give props to a few that at least got a chuckle out of me...

Bud Light - Rock Paper Scissors

Snickers - Chest Hair

Blockbuster Online Access - How to Use a Mouse

Bud Light - Wedding

Doritos - Crash

Sierra Mist - Office

Coke - Good Things

Bud Light - Slap

GM - Quality

Taco Bell - Lions

I think that the Doritos spot had to be my favorite. Probably because I find people falling absolutely hysterical. I was a little disapointed to see that the Nationwide Federline spot was basically just a regurgitation of the one posted on their website. Maybe someone needs to explain the definition of "teaser" to them. (Hint: It usually implies there's more to come.) Anyways, I'm sure if you mashed all these commercials up they might make one really good one. Mildly humorous nonetheless.

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Top 10 beer myths. You wish you knew about these last Sunday.

The next generation folding chair is pretty kick-ass. [VIDEO]

Probably the best animated shorts on the internet. [VIDEOS]

Leonardo DiCaprio apparently looked "dapper" at the Director's Guild Awards. If that means he looks like he's 12, then I agree.

Another good weekend at the unpredictable box office, and by "good" I mean a "kick in the junk" kinda good.

Boooooo!!!

2007-02-05T10:34:00.000-04:00

OMFG! Worst Super Bowl ever! Ok, ok. So the actual game wasn't that bad, but let's talk about everything else that makes this spectacle such a production. First thing's first: the Pre-Game show, or as I now like to call it: The Two Black Coaches Show.

Good lord! If they had said the phrase "Two Black Coaches" one more time, I was going to rip my hair out. If they had made it into a drinking game, I'd be dead! To hell with the players. To hell with the location. To hell with any other commentary that would have offered a bit of variety to this monotonous production. The only thing that mattered to Dan Marino and company was the seemingly unbelievable achievement of two black coaches making it to the Super Bowl. We had to channel surf at one point just to get away from it for a few minutes. When Jay suggested going back we adamantly refused saying that they'd still be talking about it. He assured us that there's no way they could dwell on it for so long so we flicked back. Looks like we just missed the Two Black Coaches video montage! But don't worry, Marino and the boys are now talking about the montage. I'm not trying to belittle their achievement by any stretch, but for the love of all the is holy, know when to stop! Is it really that unbelievable?

Next we have Cirque du Soleil's kickoff show and all I have to say to this is WTF! What kind of a market are they trying to cater to here? Banners and wings and artsy fartsy type shit? We kept holding out saying "It's Cirque Du Soleil. They'll do something crazy cool in a minute." Nothing. Nothing! It was a big hippy spectacle with no acrobatics, contortionism, or magic. Booo!

Then we had good ol' Billy Joel singing the national anthem. Hmmm, I guess it definitely could have been worse.

And now the half time show........ Prince........ Prince! What were these people on when they booked this guy? It's the god damned Super Bowl. They could have had pretty much anybody. Who was the wise-ass sitting at the table who said "Dude, we should totally get Prince."? All the pyrotechnics in the world wouldn't have been enough to make that show good.

Then there was the ads. We actually had to question at one point whether or not we were getting the American feed since the commercials were definitely not up to the calibre of previous years. Sure there was a few funny ones, but there were more that just kinda made you scratch your head and wonder why the hell someone would waste their $2.6 million 30-second spot on such trash.

Again, the only thing good about the Bowl was the actual game, rain aside, and of course, the FOOD! Here's a breakdown of what we devoured...

We started out by "sampling" the dip that Jay and Mike made just to make sure it was ok for everyone else to eat. Then we hit a party pizza from Greco complete with a large garlic fingers to go with it. Then there was random chips all around. Jay whipped out a shrimp ring after that and it was pretty much just me and him on it. I over-baked some nachos after that and then we finally busted out the dip. So yea. I ate myself stupid and I'm pretty sure I smoked a hole in my lung. I'm finding it hard to inhale today, but maybe it's because the sheer shoddiness of the whole thing just took my breath away. Anyways, tune in tomorrow for a breakdown of a few ads from the Bowl that were actually good.

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17 predictions for the new season of Lost. Mine is that it will suck.

Ralph Nader is a dog for punishment.

Ghostbusters game in the works. Bustin' makes me feel good!

Popcorn in slow motion. [VIDEOS]

iPhone cake!

Happy Super Bowl Day!

2007-02-04T10:16:00.000-04:00

Happy Super Bolw Day everyone! In addition to the traditional link roll for Sunday, I thought I'd include a special video today in honor of the game. So here you have it. Will It Blend? - Super Bowl Edition!

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The 10 best Super Bowl ads of all time.

White Chicks and Gang Signs. [VIDEO]

Holy fucking shit!

Finally, a diet I can get on board with.

McDonalds puts subliminal ads on the Food Network. Are you lovin' it?

Saturday Link Roll

2007-02-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

The Aqua Teens cause panic in Boston, and not the good kind.

Cheesiest movie moments in the history of cinema. [VIDEO]

At least someone's benfiting from this stupid war.

Top 25 movie ass-kickings of all time.

5 of the funniest moments from Scot Armstrong's films

Cancer benefits continue to capitalize on the stupidity of trend whores.

Harperisms vs Bushisms

2007-02-02T06:44:00.000-04:00

Putting a communication together at work the other day sent me to the realms of "The Google" to find humorous political quotes. While there's no shortage of hilarious Steven Colbert jabs, Rick Mercer sarcasm, and of course the beloved Bushisms, it never really occurred to me to check out some of our own Prime Minister's infamous dictions. Turns out, there's quite a few and I thought it would be a funny little experiment to put them up against Dubya's free-speaking foibles. Check them out and see who sounds like more of a douche...

"...some other changes, including some that would just horrify you, putting universal Medicare in our constitution, and feminist rights, and a whole bunch of other things." -Stephen Harper seems to think putting feminist rights and universal Medicare in the constitution is horrifying.

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -George Bush loves those who love women.

“These proposals included cries for billions of new money for social assistance in the name of “child poverty” and for more business subsidies in the name of “cultural identity”. In both cases I was sought out as a rare public figure to oppose such projects.” -Stephen Harper seems pretty proud of the fact that he was opposed to government programs designed to eliminate child poverty.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush is consumed with harming his country and its people.

"I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans." -Stephen Harper likes being blindly led.

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." -George Bush is the blind leading the blind.

"So [Canada is] basically an English-speaking country, just as English-speaking as, I would guess, the northern part of the United States." -Stephen Harper thinks that the lower half of the US speaks French, or possibly Portuguese.

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." -George Bush thinks Social Security isn't a federal program.

"The NDP is kind of proof that the Devil lives and interferes in the affairs of men." -Stephen Harper holds back no over-zealous Christian punches.

"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die." -George Bush sees dead people.

"In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance." -Stephen Harper is pretty sure the happiest people in Canada are the unemployed.

"You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one." -George Bush is jazzed to live out his dream of being a war president.

"For taxpayers, however, it's a rip-off. And it has nothing to do with gender. Both men and women taxpayers will pay additional money to both men and women in the civil service. That’s why the federal government should scrap its ridiculous pay equity law." -Stephen Harper doesn't want a woman making as much money as he does.

"One has a stronger hand when there's more people playing your same cards." -George Bush would get spanked in a round of Texas Hold 'Em

"You have to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are either recent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from Eastern Canada; people who live in ghettos and are not integrated into Western Canadian society." -Stephen Harper thinks immigrants and migrants aren't quite yet civilized enough to vote Conservative.

So what do you think? I'm kind of torn. Obviously Bush sounds dumber but you have to consider the assumption that the guy may be illiterate and also has little control over words that come out of his mouth. Stephen Harper on the other hand knows exactly what he's saying but doesn't really consider that his views may be offensive and/or asinine. I don't think I can call this one quite yet. I'll have to give them both a little more time. I'm thinking maybe until January 2009.

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Who's who at your Super Bowl party. I'm guy #2.

Remember those hos from TATU? Yea, they're still hot.

Photoshop: ads for Americans based on American stereotypes.

How to give a great man to man hug. [VIDEO]

Jared Leto doesn't like people who don't like his band. In other news, Jared Leto's band sucks.

Napoleon

2007-02-01T06:53:00.000-04:00

First of all, I was happy to discover yesterday that Static Guard is perfectly safe for hair! I went to the washroom at work to give myself a quick spray to keep my ponytail from awkwardly sticking to my sweater and I checked out the bottle (against every fear that I had that it would say it wasn't safe at all.) It actually recommended that you put a few sprays on a hairbrush to combat hair static. Totally awesome right?

Anyways, I don't have much to talk about today, but instead of not posting anything I thought I'd take the time to show you adorable pics of my sister's new puppy!

Isn't he just precious? Napoleon is a pure bred Shih Tzu from a fantastic breeder in Eastport Newfoundland. Don't you want one just like him? Super cute. Anyways...

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Bush and Condi: a love story. [PICS]

Make your own transformable Optimus Prime, out of paper!

This bitch loves the Ninja Turtles. [VIDEO]

Chicken born with duck feet? Someone's been messin' 'round.

There's nothing I like more than a classical symphony playing video game themes. [VIDEO]

Super Bowl Ads of Yore

2007-01-31T18:27:00.000-04:00

In light of yesterday's post about advertising during the Super Bowl I thought I'd give a try at attempting to find some of the goodies from last year's broadcast. I remember that some of them were exceptionally well done (aside from the shoddy Pepsi ads of course) but considering that this was what I like to call a "wet" event, some of my memories are kinda blurry. After some extensive (10 minute) research I came across a few of my favorites that can now be brought to you courtesy of YouTube!

FedEx's "Stick"

Bud Light's "Save Yourself"

Budweiser's "Streaker"

Michelob's "Touch Football"

Budweiser's "Magic Fridge"

Now that I've seen them all again, I'm still gonna have to say that "Magic Fridge" was def my favorite followed by "Save Yourself" as a close second. A lot of comments I found when looking for these was that last year's ads weren't up to snuff with other Super Bowl submissions in previous years but I adamantly disagree. Just because a company didn't spend millions of dollars to get Britney Spears to jam a Pepsi in her cleavage or Paris Hilton to have sex with a Bentley for Carl's Junior doesn't mean the ads weren't well put together and noticeable. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Actual people in exaggerated humorous situations in everyday life? What a concept.

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The worst Super Bowl ads of all time and why they failed.

Um, wow.

The megamouth shark will eat your babies. [PICS]

Check out the trailer for the Aqua Teens movie here. [VIDEO]

Burger flippers across the US irate about Federline's Nationwide ad. Probably not because it depicts their job at the low end but because it implies that Federline could do it as well as they could.

Advertising Bowl!

2007-01-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

As much as I don't give a shizz about football, I'm pretty jazzed about the Super Bowl being this weekend. While I have rarely been much of a sports fan, I am a HUGE fan of high-budget advertising!

For the longest time (before YouTube existed) I never really got to see the American commercials until they did a recap of the best of them on CNN, if I was lucky enough to catch it. You see, Canadian cable TV and satellite companies are required by law to remove the commercials from the American broadcasts they provide to their subscribers, replacing them with Canadian ads. Now, not only do I have a buddy with digital cable, but a huge-ass big screen TV too! This renders Super Bowl parties at his place a pretty good time as we get to see all of the great TV spots.

Usually you hear a least a whisper in the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl about potential ad themes and celebrity endorsements, but this year I've barely heard a peep. The only exception is a hysterical addition to the Nationwide Mutual Insurance "Life Comes At You Fast" campaign. The insurance company has solicited the help of infamous loafer and professional freeloader, Kevin Federline, to appear in an ironic narrative of his own life in their Super Bowl runner this year.

Nationwide has a history of hiring unlikely celebs to appear in their ads but the most likely for their "Life Comes At You Fast" campaign. The 2005 Super Bowl spots starred MC Hammer facing the repo man and foreclosure on his home, while the 2006 ads featured Fabio aging 40 years in a matter of moments. This year's spot will show Federline dreaming of a lucrative rap career complete with bling and bimbos until he's called to attention by his burger joint boss calling for a customer's order of fries.

In an unprecedented move, Nationwide has decided to let a 30-second teaser ad run for few days on their website, building hype for the official airing on Sunday. I watched it shortly after it was posted yesterday and I must say, It's pretty damn funny. You can check it out here.

Oh the humanity! So, yea. It should be fun this Sunday although Donna, who is our annual personal chef for the event, will not be there putting us in the unfortunate circumstance of having to fend for ourselves snack-wise. Some people have suggested potluck. Maybe I'll make nachos.

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The last Final Fantasy virgin.

The cutest fat cat ever. [VIDEO]

OMFG, best wedding dance ever! [VIDEO]

Holy shizz! The Ecto-1 is for sale!

Is that Bum Fights? No, wait, it's just Joel Madden and that douche from Crazy Town. [VIDEO]

Newspaper Thief

2007-01-29T06:39:00.000-04:00

In my never ending quest to keep a mystery co-worker from stealing my newspaper every day I was speaking with another co-worker on Friday about a possible culprit. She mentioned that she's see someone sneak it off my desk in the morning and haul ass to the washroom. Now I'll deal with the thievery later but right now I feel the need to ask an arse-burning question that I've always wondered about. Why do men take reading material with them to the bathroom!?

I don't know if it's just me, but I am never in there long enough to actually read a full newspaper article, let alone bringing the whole damn thing in to possibly read multiple articles. I visit people's houses and see full magazines in the washroom, even Reader's Digest which sure as hell isn't for the small time reader.

I just don't get it. Normally this is a situation in which I would like someone to explain the answer to me, but in this case I'm not really sure if I wanna know. I think I may just let this one lie.

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Totally killer body art. [PICS]

Old and busted:historical photos.New hotness:recreating them in legos!

Transformer shoes!

Why can't the underwater paparazzi leave the prehistoric shark alone?

A contest with Paris Hilton's vadge as the prize? Congratulations! You've just won yourself your very own self-serving case of herpes!

Happy Birthday Vanessa!

2007-01-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

OMFG Vanessa is 26 today y'all! After spending about an hour online trying to find a decent e-card to send her way I painfully became aware of the shitty availability of good e-cards these days, so I decided a blog shout-out might suffice :-)

Awwww yea!

Sunday Link Roll

2007-01-28T10:52:00.000-04:00

25 annoying Super Bowl party guests.

101 dumbest moments in business.

Finally a pizza place I can get on board with.

9 predictions for this year's Super Bowl broadcast.

WiiBot FTW. [VIDEO]

Lego belt FTW.

Lindsay Lohan promotes Miu Miu the only way she knows how: by posing like a slutty young secretary being bent over a desk.

Saturday Link Roll

2007-01-27T10:31:00.000-04:00

Best pool toy ever!

How to fake a Web 2.0 logo.

Wrestling For Jesus?

John McCain decides to take a nap during the SOTU. [VIDEO]

Secrets of the stars: High school edition.

Crazy-ass prehistoric shark found off the coast of Japan. [VIDEO]

Government officials are right up there with Catholic priests. No, not there.

How Not To Celebrate MLK Day

2007-01-26T10:30:00.000-04:00

Ruh roh! It seems that a few (predominantly white) students down at a Texas college decided to take it upon themselves to throw a celebratory party in honour of Martin Luther King Day on January 15th. Seems innocent enough right? WRONG! When you decide to celebrate such a holiday by dressing up as Aunt Jemima, carrying malt liquor in paper bags, eating fried chicken and wearing gang apparel complete with guns, expect the worst to happen... the worst being having your racist party photo album splashed all over The Smoking Gun!

Can you believe this shit?! It seems like the only missing from this hood fest was actual African Americans to whoop all of their prejudicial asses. It seems that these photos were originally posted on Facebook where another student of the college (who also happens to be the head of the school's NAACP chapter) discovered them in a party-goers gallery and notified school administration who has since spoken out about the students. Who said Facebook wasn't good for anything? Oh, wait. I did.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for doing something stupid. Like yesterday when putting the link roll together I duplicated a link from the link roll the day before. Then I see stories like this and stop being so hard on myself. One thing I like about The Smoking Gun is that they don't have to go into details about the idiocy of these morons. The fact that their face is even on The Smoking Gun is enough for you to know they're just a pile of asshats.

Anyways, I hate to leave you with this before the weekend, but be comfortable in the fact that thanks to The Smoking Gun (and the article getting green-lighted on Fark) that these people are either embaressed as hell or shitting themselves whenever they walk down the street. Or both!

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Th e President vs. words in the State of the Union address. [VIDEO]

Even the people who pay to see Nickleback can't stand them.

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager. [VIDEO]

The perfect desk for a stay-at-home blogger.

MySpace to launch program to show Amber Alerts to users in an effort to help find kidnapped children..... children who were likely abducted by people they met on MySpace.

Accepted

2007-01-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Holy smokes, it's been a long time since I've seen a new movie. Last weekend I rented the flick Accepted. It was the kind of movie that interested me when the trailers were airing (who wouldn't want to see a movie with a guy screaming "Ask me about my wiener!" ?) but I knew I probably wouldn't go see it in theater. Actually, its becoming more and more apparent to me that the only types of movies I'll go see in theater are ones with great CGs or horror flicks. Maybe it's time to change that. I think I'm missing out on some good shit.

Anyways, I'll keep this one short by saying that this film was a nice piece of fluff on a Saturday night. Basically it's about a guy who can't get into any good colleges so he decides to make one up for the sake of faking an acceptance letter for his parents. The whole charade turns in to a huge production when more evidence is required and other students looking for such a place jump on board. You know that eventually the jig is gonna be up and all hell is gonna break loose in the eventual exposure, but the time leading up to it will be hilariously fun.

If any of you saw the movie "Camp Nowhere" when you were a kid, it's almost exactly like that, except aged a few years. Young buck tricks parents into thinking he has a place to go, friends come along for the ride with cash in hand, cash get pooled, loony adult gets hired to make the whole thing look legit, hilarity ensues before people get wise to the scam, guy overcomes repercussions from exposed scam, gets the girl. It's a winner!

I tend to warm easier to movies that have a cast of relative unknowns. I don't know why that is but since the only well known guy in Accepted (besides Lewis Black) was the lead, Justin Long (the guy from the Mac TV spots that I have an off-the-chain celebrity crush on) it made the movie a much easier watch, moreso than I'm sure the next Scary Movie will bring. Jonah Hill who plays Sherman Shrader steals every scene he's in with hilariously funny lines.

Another thing I liked about this movie (that I might have appreciated more when I was 18) was that it really touches on a lot of issues facing new high school grads going through the transition to university process. The waiting for the acceptance letters, the annoyingly over-achieving sibling, the over-zealous parents, the family university tradition, the desire to fit in, and most importantly, the internal struggle of deciding what it is you really want to do, not what you should do, or what you have to do because it's all that's offered. In the movie the students decide to construct their own curriculum to learn only the things they want to learn about. Man would I have ever taken a shine to that. A morning of Intermediate Web Surfing followed by Mastering General Trivia and an afternoon of Constructs of Professional Loafing. That's my kinda schedule!

Annnnnyways, great young comedy and a good way to spend a Saturday, as long as they don't eff it up with a sequel, I'm 'a thinkin' two rings of power!

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Caring for your pet Lohan.

The year Niagara Falls froze. [PIC]

Dancing With The (Questionable) Stars: The new batch.

You won't believe which country has the highest crime rate.

When Jack Bauer looks like this, you know something just got effed right up.

Static Guard My Heart

2007-01-24T06:44:00.000-04:00

First of all, I regret to pass on the news that beloved WWE wrestler Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow died this past weekend in his home in Florida. An autopsy revealed no foul play and it is believed its possible he died as a result of complications from an infection. He was 45 years old and is survived by three children. Funeral services will be held this Friday in New Jersey.

Man what the hell is up with all my old school heroes dropping like flies? Anyways. I'd also like to say a big "Ha ha" to the people who thought it would be hysterical to send me a Facebook invite if they haven't already. Real funny you greasy bastards :-)

Today I'm gonna run a little scenario by you all and see what kind of feedback I get. Let's say I have a friend. This friend has very long hair and has always struggled with trying to keep it manageable, particularly in the Winter when it just becomes a big static mess. Let's say that this friend's office keeps a supply of Static Guard spray in the women's washroom. Out of complete curiosity she decided to spray a little in her hair last week. By god it tamed the static! Static free at last!

Ok, ok. So it was me. It worked so well! My hair was normal for the rest of the day. There only seems to be one catch though. I have absolutely no idea what is in Static Guard. Crazy chemicals? Nasty dilutants? Who knows. All I know is that it fixed my crazy hair. Now obviously I don't want to go bald in a few weeks if I keep this up, but what's the worst that can happen? If it's safe for fabric it must be safe for hair right? RIGHT?! Perhaps it's time to do a little research on this one. Any chemistry majors out there?

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Requiem for Britney's Vagina by Maddox.

This guy is extremely talented. [VIDEO]

You're never going to believe which country has the highest crime rate.

Julian Beever is a sick pavement painter. [PICS]

Finally, a magazine for the emo kid who hates herself and loves herself at the same time.

What's New Pussycat?

2007-01-23T06:24:00.000-04:00

So I've been accused of coming across as being too angry in some of my recent blog posts and that's the last thing I want to portray. The Snowy Driveway is supposed to be a happy place of off-the-wall humor, unbiased commentary and a little intellectual stimulation....... LOL. Anyways, I know a lot of bloggers who insist they're not angry people but either intentionally or unintentionally contradict the such in their posts and they just end up looking like that crazy, angry old neighbor who comes barreling out of his house, in a wide-open knee-length bath robe with a sawed off shotgun to protest against something as simple as a little conversational noise. (By the way, a friend of mine was on the other end of one of those. Court date pending.)

In light of this recent complaint I've decided to blog today about something I have nothing but good things to say about. That being said (and this may come as a surprise, but)....

Say what you want about how main stream pop music has gone downhill, dumb bimbos are sexing out the entertainment industry, setting the women's movement back 20 years, and basically having little to offer society in any shape or form, I am so hot for the Pussycat Dolls right now! I'll be the first person to say that avoiding mainstream these days can only be beneficial not only for the mind (and ears) but the soul as well. But these hos have the greatest, catchiest tunes ever and they keep batting them out. Plus they're hot as hell!

Or are they? On closer inspection when I went searching for the above pics, I noticed what I have been fearing all along. That's right. There's only one hot member! Nicole Scherzinger is insanely attractive to the point where I feel I need to stick a life-sized cardboard cutout of her on my fridge in order to commit to my post Christmas diet (which so far Ive been pretty disciplined about I might add.) The rest of the girls are either wearing a mask of whore paint to cover their glaringly bad features or just look like transvestites. But who gives a shit! When you dress their cute bods in sexy duds and give them tunes like "Buttons," "Wait a Minute," and "Beep" to lip sync to, you have winner!

So yea, three cheers for the Pussycat Dolls. They'll only last about as long as it takes for Nicole to do a solo album and mutiny on their ass, but I'm enjoying them while I can.

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20 of the worst album covers of all time.

Bushisms most notable quotes of 2006.

Finally, some Canadian tax dollars well spent.

The 25 secret perks of working at Google.

I LOVE Worth1000 photoshop contests! This time they have new ideas for the Apple design team.

Stop Sending Me Facebook Invites

2007-01-22T06:43:00.000-04:00

This is an open request to anyone that knows me, wants to know me, has heard of me, knows people that know me, etc. Stop sending me Facebook invites! Mother of mercy, I get about three or four of these a week. Am I the only person in this world not on Facebook?

I have never, nor will I ever, join Facebook. Between my regular surfing and website maintenance I really just don't have the time for it, and since I have been told that it's incredibly time consuming, I've made an informed decision to not join.

That's another thing. Why would you recommend something to someone you know is just gonna potentially consume their lives? "Try some of this heroin. It's crazy addictive." Yea, how about no? I don't have an addictive personality but it seems that any excuse I can find to plant myself in front of this shit box for hours at a time, I usually take. I sure as hell don't need another one that doesn't really result in any tangible benefit.

Which brings me to another point. Another damn good reason I have for not taking the plunge and signing up, is that no one can seem to give me a good reason as to WHY I should. The typical conversation I have with people regarding this subject goes a little something like this...

Them: "Why aren't you on Facebook yet?"
Me: "Why should I be?"
Them: ".............."

The closest someone came was saying that it's interesting to see who your friends know and whether or not they're hot....... Ok. Most of the people I talk to don't seem to know half of the people in their "friends list" (which should prompt them to change it to just "a list") so I'm thinking that the ideal scenario of being on Facebook might go something like this...

Me: "Hey, it seems that my friend, Tits McGee, has a sexy acquaintance."

Me: "Hey Tits McGee, hook me up with your sexy friend."
Tits McGee: "Oh I don't know him. He's a friend of my roommate's friend's cousin, twice removed."

Riiiight. If I want to see pics of hot men, I'll hit up the latest copy of Men's Health for some decent, professional ones, not grainy, blurry, bad angle pics of some yabo friend of a friend taking tequila shots out of the cleavage of a stripper in a dive bar. Anyone I know and like enough can easily keep up with me through my website anyways. I personally know that most people I went to high school or university with that mattered are regular visitors. Why would I want to make it any easier for people I used to know, but didn't really care for, to find me? I have a hard enough time avoiding these people in bars, malls and airports.

So yea, since I'm too damned lazy to set up my email filters to nix the word "Facebook" from my Inbox, I'll kindly thank anyone who has a hankering to send another one along to refrain from doing so. Besides, I can see this whole phenomenon on a service switcheroo in a few years, if not a few months. Some other company will start whoring their social networking website that's exactly like Facebook but with one or two extra features, prompting everyone to switch until Facebook emulates with their new offering and the cycle keeps switching made only more complicated by other services jumping on the bandwagon until the whole thing is just fragmented as hell and no one can find anyone. Good ol' interweb.

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Top 10 worst TV talk show hosts.

Bond vs. Bond vs. Bond. [VIDEO]

Clint Eastwood has def gone under the knife. [PICS]

Freak soccer game accident. Not what you think. [VIDEO]

Lindsay Lohan's mother is pretty proud of her 20-year-old daughter's substance abuse problem.

Sunday Link Roll

2007-01-21T02:40:00.000-04:00

Stupid warning labels.

Halo-inspired combat suit. [VIDEO]

Hilary is running for President y'all.

The difference between Photoshop and Maxim. [PICS]

A-Coop is making mad cheddar yo.

Katie Couric is going to ruin the Super Bowl.

Chicken gets smoked. [VIDEO]